Couples usually don't realize the mistakes they are making -- until they brake up. We don't want this to happen, do we? Sometimes the relationship has a high potential to be of the long term variety, but people end up screwing things up.
Happily ever after really exists -- all you have to do is stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Wanna know which ones?
Stop Hanging Out With Your Friends
A lot of couples stop hanging out with their friends when they start dating -- all they wanna do is have sex and go out alone. Nothing wrong in going out only with your boyfriend or girlfriend sometimes and it's 100% awesome to have sex all the time. What you cannot do is leave your friends aside because you're in a relationship. At first it will feel good to be just with your significant other, but soon it will be too boring.
Stop Having A Personal Time
Most couples stop having their personal time once they're in a relationship. If they have some free time, they see each other. They stop going to the gym, taking extra classes, doing Yoga etc. That's why most couples gain weight together when they start dating. It's understandable that you want to be with him or her as much as you can, but never forget that you also have to take care of yourself. You're an individual and need to have some personal time.
Start Getting Extra Jealous
Jealousy is one of the top 5 reasons why couples start fighting. At some point everything starts being a reason to be jealous -- his or her friends, co-workers, ex-lovers, hot people on the streets, potential dangerous people on Facebook and Instagram etc. Having these little fights because of jealousy will be the end of your relationship. Always keep in mind you need to show some confidence in yourself in order to be happy.
Talking Too Much About The Relationship
It's good to sit and talk about the relationship once every two or three months -- not every weekend. These little questionings always end up in a fight. We always need to choose our battles wisely, not debate every little thing. What most couples do is they start having the habit of always debating things -- their different opinions, their different behaviours, points of view etc. When we choose to be with someone else we better know there will be some changes -- and we have to adapt.
Stop Dressing Nicely
When some people start dating, they stop dressing as nicely as they did before. "I'm already in a relationship, I can relax." That's absolutely wrong. Both you and your significant other should continue to dress as nicely as you did when you met each other. Why? Because being in a relationship doesn't mean you can start wearing only sweatshirts and old pants. Treating yourself is a good way to boost your self-esteem and look even more beautiful to your significant other. (And above all things, to yourself.)
Thinking Life Won't Have A Meaning If You Break Up
It feels so good to be in love, doesn't it? Life gets even better. Most couples start getting too needy and believing their lives won't be happy anymore if they break up. Usually this happens to one person in the couple -- and the other one notices. This is when it starts being too scary. Can you imagine how it feels to know you're responsible for someone else's life happiness? Never let anyone believe they are responsible for your happiness -- always let them know they are a part of it.
Start Making Crazy Long-Term Plans
It's only natural to date someone you love. What is not normal is start talking about marriage and kids before even knowing each other that well. Some people like to rush things up and scare the other person away. We need to make hard decisions every day -- dating was supposed to be relaxing. When we start putting any kind of pressure on our boyfriends or girlfriends, they will leave. So no "jokes" about getting married and don't start choosing your babies' names yet.
Second Guessing His Or Her Feelings
Why is it so hard to believe we can be truly loved? Was anyone pointing a gum at your boyfriend or girlfriend when you started dating? No! That's because they weren't obliged to start dating you -- they did it because they like you. Many couples start second guessing their loved ones feelings -- the reasons vary from person to person. What happens is the other person gets sick of always having to prove their love and decides to break up. Being second guessed all the time is exhausting.
Making Out In Public
One of the best things is life is making out with the person you love -- at home. Making out in public is uncomfortable for everybody else around you. It's your intimacy, for Christ's Sake! What's the point in doing it in front of your friends, family and people you don't even know? That makes people avoid going out with you as a couple, because they know how uncomfortable it will be at some point.
Start Making Decisions For Him Or Her
It's good to give your opinion when people ask you what you think. Start making decisions for your boyfriend or girlfriend is absolutely annoying. You may not even notice what you're doing, but he or she will. So don't say what it's best for him or her to eat, wear, say, share on Facebook etc. People appreciate their free will -- don't be the one who takes it away from them.
Joining Forces With His Or Her Parents
Don't ever join forces with your significant other's parents against him or her. People usually do this to have a better relationship with the parents, but it's very, very annoying for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Be on their side -- or don't say anything. So if his mother is saying his bedroom is a mess, don't encourage her by saying, "She's right!" Or if her dad says her dress is too short, don't make things worse by saying, "See? I told you!" If you agree with them, tell your significant other after they leave -- never in front of them.
Start Saying Harsh Things To Each Other
People usually regret what they say when they're mad -- remember things cannot be unsaid. Once couples start being aggressive and mean towards each other, the relationship goes downhill. "I wish we've never met.", "You're the worst boyfriend ever!" It hurts, it hurts deeply. You are only human and it's normal to get upset -- just be careful with what you're gonna say.
Lying To Each Other
Nothing will ever bring you apart from each other more than lying. Once you tell the first lie, all the other ones will pop up like popcorn. Do your best to always be honest with the person you're dating. Hiding secrets and mistakes is the worst thing in the world -- specially if you're hiding it from the person you love.
For more Montreal and personal insights, follow Roberta on Instagram @Robbie__Wayne