40 Things That Will Definitely Happen To You When Moving To Montreal
Montreal is full of surprises.
Photo cred - Matthias Berthet
When living in a new city, you can't help but be subsumed by the metropolis's culture, and that is just too true about Montreal. Full of zany folk and cit-specific things, Montreal will introduce you to a wealth of new experiences. Certain things will only happen when you live here, ranging from awesome to just plain strange.
To prepare yourself if you're Montreal-bound, here are 40 things that will for-sure happen to you when moving to/living in Montreal.
1. You will almost fall down an outdoor staircase
- Especially in winter. Hold 'dem handrails people.
2. You will walk more
- Montreal is just the right amount of small, where you can cover tons of ground in an hour on foot.
3. You will never be able to tell if a dude is gay or just French like that
- Spoken from personal experience. Ladies know what I'm talking about.
4. You will drink stronger beer
- 'Cuz in Quebec, +6% is a regular thing.
5. You will eat more poutine
- No one can escape the 3am poutine.
6. You will get caught up in a random protest
- Again, sometimes they just come outta nowhere.
7. You will see more students
- 4 universities will do that.
8. You will not leave your house during the month of February
- Not even for Valentine's Day, it gets that cold.
9. You will acquire Seasonal Affective Disorder
- Summer = happy, winter = bad times, spring/fall = meh
10. You will smoke (or at least smell) a lot more weed
- Drive-by joints just happen
11. You will become a hockey fan
- Or more specifically, a Habs fan.
12. You will read MTL Blog :)
- Hey, look, this one's happening right meow!
13. You will drink in the park
- When you can and there's no fear of getting a ticket, you will.
14. You will learn French curse words
- Tabernacles take on a whole new level of meaning.
15. You will become more hipster
- At least that's what all your old friends will say.
16. You will get over smoked meat
- After having contstant access, the deli meat loses its tourist-y appeal.
17. You will only eat sesame or poppy seed bagels
- Maybe an everything here and there, but cinnamon-raisin is just blasphemy.
18. You will randomly walk into a festival
- Sometimes they just come outta nowhere.
19. You will pay cheaper rent
- Low cost of living is a beautiful thing.
20. You will climb up a mountain
- By which we mean Mount Royal...and if anyone dares say it isn't a mountain then you will be silenced.
21. You will start calling Happy Hour 5 à 7
- That way Francophones will understand when you want to get post-work drinks.
22. You will smell more horse poo
- It's a sad reality of walking around Old Montreal with all those damned horse-drawn carriages.
23. You will drink a 40 in an alley
- A Montreal right of passage
24. You will eat shittier pizza
- Unless you're going to a fancy resto, the corner pizza place will probably be sub-par of your previous standards.
25. You will nearly get hit by a cyclist
- Every single day of summer.
26. You will get lost in the "underground city"
- Only 2% of the population knows how to get around down there, so don't feel bad.
27. You will learn to hate Frosh
- Or love it, either way you'll have some strong emotions for the late-summer student shwaste-fest.
28. You will be accustomed to a new level of "cold"
- Negative 5 will become light jacket weather after you feel the struggle that is 40 below.
29. You will not understand a word that is said over the PA system in the metro
- Don't worry, even Francophones don't know what the hell that lady is saying sometimes.
30. You will see more street art and murals than ever before
- Unless you got horse blinders on, you'll see some graffiti at every street corner.
31. You will only go to Old Montreal when your parents visit
- I mean, why else would you go unless someone else was paying?
31. You will slowly learn to disregard traffic lights
- Jaywalking is a Montreal way of life, as is dangerous driving.
32. You will gain a deathly allergy to most things on Crescent street
- Anywhere else is better to go out. Now if you're getting Boustan, that's a different story.
33. You will be underground a lot
- Whether for the metro, shopping, or just to escape the harsh winds of winter.
34. You will never be able to tell if a girl is gay or just wears a hat like that
- A girl with a fitted cap is forever a mystery.
35. You will start exclusively referring to convenience stores as "deps"
- Probably the first linguistic-switch you'll experience.
36. You will gain an admiration for women who wear tights in the dead of winter
37. You will have one meal on the weekends: Brunch!
- Any other meal will be alcohol-based.
38. You will dread walking up some Montreal street hills
- Sometimes your calves just can't handle it.
39. You will appreciate Summer like it is a succulent steak
- Savour it while it lasts.
40. You will become a coffee Nazi
- Once you go espresso, you don't go back, especially if it's that third-wave style stuff.
For more on all things Montreal, follow Michael on Twitter @MDAlimonte