My boyfriend and I were broken up for the last 17 days, which have been the longest two and a half weeks of my life. I was in such denial, that I wasn't even telling people we broke up. I thought it would be easier for me to just let it slide under the table and wait until I just bring it up casually like "oh it's been 6 months you guys didn't know"?
I was so hurt over the entire situation that I wanted nothing to do with confronting my feelings. Which made me realize what a mistake it all was. According to new research, almost 50 percent of couples break up, and then get back together again.
I didn't want to be part of that statistic, so I waited to be sure that I wanted it for the right reasons... and yes it's a little messy, but sometimes you need to split up before settling down for the long haul...
It's the opportunity for a "clean slate"
You learn to be more independent
Forcing you to sleep alone for however long you break up, and not having your best friend to speak to every day can actually be a good thing. You spend more time with your family and your friends and instead of your priorities being on him/her, you are now open to this whole next life! Now, when you do get back together you almost feel guilty getting back into your old routine, and instead learn to manage your time better so that you can still do a bit of everything.
You are able to put things in perspective
Spending time away from him/her gives you the chance to re evaluate what actually happened in the first place. Once you get over the first phases of anger and denial, you face reality. You start to reflect on your previous fights, and on what YOU did that led to this ending. When you are in the relationship, you are too busy fighting to make a point instead of understanding your partners point. Being out of the relationship makes you realize what you did wrong.
Your relationship becomes more real
Once you get back together, it's almost like the "game" is done. You're no longer chasing each other and pretending to be this person to impress one another. You are both in love, and you are getting back into it to make it work. That means communicating your feelings, and what bothered you in the past to ensure that you fight together instead of each other in the future.
You value each other more
You don't realize just how much your partner does for you until you spend days, weeks or even months without him/her. You start to be grateful for all those little things he/she did to make your days easier and better, and you appreciate it so much more when you don't have it anymore. So when you get back after some time apart, you really learn to value their presence and everything they do for you even more than you did when you were dating.
You know what you want
Now that you've spent your time apart from each other you have a clear picture of your future. You know what you want and you know that includes them in your life. You are finally ready to commit to each other for the big picture, and you want it more than you've ever wanted it in your life.
You realize that you are madly in love
and nothing else matters but you and your other half. You become physically sick without them next to you. This was the hardest part for me because I never thought I could feel something so strong for someone else, and it all came together when we broke up. I knew that for once in my life, I could say I fell in love... and now that I knew, I would never let him go.