If you know me at all, then you know I'm pretty down for food challenges. I just want to experience everything there is in life, and I figure, if it can't kill or seriously harm you, then why not do it?
Which is why, when I was invited to try out Sushi Sama's (1889 Rue Beaubien E) new super spicy sushi challenge, I was all for it.
A little background on me: I'm Italian, half Sicilian and half Calabrese, so I laugh in the face of spicy food.
I grew up eating spicy soppressata and pickled eggplants - and, trust, you don't know true spice until you've chewed a whole red chili pepper from your uncle's giardino.
Or so I thought.
I went in to Sushi Sama expecting something spicy, but tolerable. I mean, I love wasabi, and I figured this would be just like the first time you try a little too much wasabi: intense, but on the whole, not that bad.
Friends, this is where I dungoofed.
First of all, let me just say that the sushi at Sama is amazing. I ate some regular sushi before embarking on their challenge, and it was super fresh and super flavourful - on the whole, really, really good.
So I felt confident that I could scarf down their spicy sushi unharmed. Surely the taste of the sushi would save me from the hellfire I was about to ingest?
The sushi in Sama's challenge is made with a sauce called Satan's Blood, which is a bit over 800,000 Scovilles.
Yes, 800, 000 Scovilles.
Before I even saw these super spicy sushi morsels, I had to sign a contract absolving the restaurant of any injury resulting from the ingestion of the Satan's Blood sauce.
It was then that I realized I may be in a little bit over my head. But I don't back down from a challenge. (Sidenote: at that point, the friend I took with me politely opted out of the challenge. Not cool, friend. Not cool).
The sushi was served with a glass of milk, which comes in handy when your whole mouth and soul is on fire.
And trust me, guys. Your whole mouth and soul is totally, actually, literally on fire.
My first bite was okay, mainly because my coworker Jeremy prepped me for this with some valuable advice: when you're eating something spicy, nibble on it first to see if you can handle it.
So the first nibble was amazing. The sushi is very tasty, very fresh, and just fantastic.
And then the second bite came, and I felt my world dissolve into flames.
I cannot describe the feeling I felt, guys. It was like I ate 1000 lit cigarettes. My throat, tongue, and lips were in so much pain I couldn't even do it.
But I soldiered on. By the time I was finished the sushi, I felt like someone was punching me in the whole mouth with brass knuckles made of flaming knives.
Instantly, my lips and face turned red; tears started streaming down my face. They were partially because of the spice, but also because of the pain. Like, it was me, sobbing in pain.
The other people in the restaurant grew concerned. They told me to go get some air, so, through the tears and the pain, I literally ran outside of the restaurant in a desperate attempt to cool myself off.
Guys, this was seriously hot. Like. Intensely hot.
Still, it was freaking amazing. And I felt really good once the pain resided, about a half an hour later.
You can try Sushi Sama's "T'es Tu Game?" Satan's Blood sushi challenge on October 27-29. And if you don't touch your glass of water/milk within the first five minute of consuming these actual flames, then you'll get your sushi roll for free.
But good luck with that.