Sarcastic Anglophone Compares Montreal Language Tensions To Racial Genocide
An online exposition on English speakers in Montreal.
Sometimes satire is the best way to express yourself. With the recent resurgence of French-English tensions in Montreal and Quebec (mostly due to recent claims made by the provincial government), one Anglophone felt he needed to get some stuff of his chest. Like any millenial would, he took to reddit and typed his woes.
In a vary sarcastic manner, the Anglophone redditor pokes fun at the demonized English-speaking Montrealer. While he does go a bit far, the entire post is in jest, so don't take it too seriously. The original text was deleted, but we got to it before it went to the internet wastelands. Here is an edited version of the best parts, and see the original thread (still with hilairous comments) here.
"This is really hard for me to say...you've all been right all along.The Anglo-Quebecois community doesn't really consider itself Quebecois at all.
We all feel threatened all the time and its killing us. We're terrified that we'll lose all our rights and become refugees.
We all remember what happened in Rwanda, what happened in the former Yugoslavia, or in Ethiopia, or what's happening right now in Ukraine. We think - we all think - that if the PQ gets elected we'll be the new Bosnians, the new Tutsi.
Sometimes we think they're right. You can't walk down a Montreal street without feeling so much shame... deep down, everyone knows who are Anglo and who are not. Everywhere I go my race betrays me.
I am personally responsible for France abandoning their colonies after the Seven Years War... And it's only because there's 599,000 of us left that Quebec hasn't become the international superpower it was always destined to be. Most of us get cheques from the Conservatives to stay. It's all a big secret but it's time we come clean....
Literally every single bad thing to ever happen in Quebec, including the Duplessis Scandal, is actually the fault of the Anglo-Quebecois minority...
We have so much money we can afford condos in Toronto, and because our community is basically the same as the culture of Toronto-Calgary-Halifax-Nunavut-Victoria-Moncton we'll have no problem seamlessly rejoining our 'real culture' when the PQ becomes government and forces us all out at gunpoint...
Unless the PQ wins, Quebec will always be under the thumb of the Anglo-Canadian-British-Tea Party...Clearly I'm holding Quebec back."