As we all know, the government loves to control and regulate everything we do.
They act like a bunch of overly obsessive parents and we are the stupid children who cannot fend for themselves.
The government already controls pretty much every aspect of our lives. But when it comes to sex, we're still the ones making decisions right?
The government also likes to control your sex life, which is bullshit when you think about it.
Pierre Trudeau famously said: "The state had no business in the bedrooms".
But the truth is that there are a lot of Canadian sex laws you'd be surprised to know exist.
Anal Sex Is Illegal
Having anal sex in Canada could get you up to 10 years in jail. There are some exceptions when it comes to consenting adults, but if there are 3 people in the room, it's still illegal. the law will apparently soon be repealed.
16 Year Olds Can Consent To Sex But They Can't Watch Porn
Yes, in Canada it’s against the law for children to see porn. And that seems fine, until you remember that 16 is the official age of consent. So that means they can have sex, they just can't look at sex.
Lap Dances Are Technically Illegal
This is especially surprising when you consider Montreal's liberal strip club etiquette. But the wording used in the most recent prostitution bill is "sexual services". In a legal brief submitted by the government, the courts have found lap-dancing and masturbation in a massage parlour count as a "sexual service", so technically lap dances are illegal.
Prostitution Is Legal, But Only If You Videotape It
Obtaining and procuring sexual services is illegal, however stripping and the production of pornography does not count as a sexual service. That means as long as you're recording it and you post it on the internet afterwards, it's not technically prostitution.
Drunk Sex Can Be Illegal
Sex is legal as long as you give consent, however you can't give consent when you aren't "sober enough" which means that drunk sex is actually illegal if you're too drunk.
BDSM Is Not Allowed
Yes, sex between two consenting adults is legal, however Canadians cannot legally consent to certain things no matter how sober they are. And one of the things on that list is bodily harm, so any for of BDSM that involves whipping, spanking, or even pouring candle wax is considered illegal.
This is illegal, but for an entirely different reason that the BDSM rule. Sex requires consent, and you are free to change your mind at any time during sex. But when it comes to choking, since oxygen is being prevented from reaching your brain, it makes it impossible to provide ongoing consent.
Bonus: Canada Accidentally Legalized Sex Acts With Animals
Over the summer, a man was put on trial for doing something that involved a dog and peanut butter (please don't make me describe it further). The case went all the way up to the Canadian Supreme Court, where the bestiality charges were nullified. In doing do they "accidentally" legalized certain sex acts with animals.