The Dating Profiles Of Every Montreal Woman
Choose your woman based on her district.
First we brought to you the. The women were feeling slightly neglected and left out. Truth is, Montreal women are some of the coolest in the world. Every district rubs off a certain culture onto its female resident. If you're a dude and reading this, take notes, mark down your favorites, fuck, chuck or marry. If you're a lady and reading this, have fun spotting yourself and your friends.
Mile End/ Upper Plateau
Occupation: Concordia/ McGill graduate with a bachelor's degree in arts, works part-time at a vintage clothing boutique or a vegan café
Hobbies: Attending shows, shopping at for the freshest produce and gardening on her roof as she drinks mass variations of IPAs
Can be found: Bobbing her head at Sala Rosa as she sips on a pint of beer
Looking For: Someone who works at her favorite bar, who's also a hip studio technician or a musician. This chick is looking for someone that's willing to enjoy a long bike ride with her as they talk about the latest vegan and gluten- free recipes. The Mile End/ Upper Plateau girl wants a social activist that will challenge and stimulate her as they debate over American politics.
Occupation: Student and working part- time in the service industry as a barista, waitress or bar maid
Hobbies: Smoking weed, hosting themed parties and visiting her friends at their respective workplaces as they become "regulars"
Can be found: Walking her dog by Monkland Village
Looking For: Someone that stays close to home. She'll want to snuggle as the two of you order pizza (the gourmet kind from Pizza Pinoli), drink cheap wine (from the depanneur) and watch movies. After a long shift at work, she'll want to meet you and the rest of the crew at Honey Martin's as you down a couple of pints. Wake her up and take her for breakfast at Cosmo's, you're bound to win some brownie points!
North Shore (Laval)
Occupation: If she comes from a Quebecois family, she's studying at HEC or U of M. Or, if she's the type that wants to explore beyond her comfort zones, she's studying hard at Concordia or McGill
Can be Found: Spending an entire day at Carrefour Laval
Hobbies: Perfecting the art of mascara application, going out for girls night to Univers and purchasing all things shiny/glittery
Looking For: Someone that will buy her bottles at Moomba's. While this girl loves to party and insists that her partner feels the same, she also wants a man that's more than just a booty call. The Laval girl has high standards, so she'll expect you to treat her to dinner at The Keg or Table 51 (bottle of wine included), as opposed to Jack Astors. While all girls have a sweet tooth, the Laval chick's got a big one. Let her indulge in desert at Tango and she'll love you forever.
Occupation: No occupation. This girl goes to school on a full time basis, and works part-time at her dad's law firm during the summer (that's if she's not travelling Europe)
Can be Found: Picking up salad for her and her friends at Mandy's
Hobbies: Studying, shopping, taking pictures of her dog, zumba and yoga
Looking For: The furthest thing away from a college drop out or a full-time basement band member. The Westmount girl's parents have high expectations, and so, it will be her goal to please them with a man that's just as bright as her own father. While she'll often seem stubborn and harder to get than a perfect GPA, this girl really just wants to get her aphrodisiac cravings going as you treat her to oysters and champagne at Maestro SVP.
Occupation: Student at Concordia or McGill and interns 5-10 hours a week
Can be Found: On Instagram
Hobbies: Chilling at her friend's place who lives around the corner, alternating between Tam Tams and Piknic Electronik every single Sunday of the summer (depending on how bad her hangover is) and shopping for the newest Hershel bag
Looking For: A cat lover. Wearing sweaters with cats that have glasses will easily score you some points with the Lower Plateau girl. It's essential for this girl's newest fling to have a professional camera, and know how to use it so that she can keep her Instagram account active. This chick's looking for someone that's down to go out every single night of the week, with a few exceptions, where she'll want to stay in and watch re-runs of Daria (probably when she's on her period).
The West Island
Occupation: If she managed to survive through the hell of John Abbott College, she's either moved on to an anglophone university in the city, or has been discouraged by such an institution and is now working as a tattoo artist at XS or The Inkspot.
Can be Found: If she's young and girly, you can find her alongside her girlfriends, pulling the lever on birthday cake flavored frozen yogurt at Menchie's. If she's a guy's girl, this West Island chick can be found watching the game in her buddy's den whilst drinking beer and smoking a variation of joints, blunts and bongs or grabbing a late night bite at Chenoy's... or both.
Hobbies: Dying her hair and hoping there's a sale at Fairview
Looking For: A stoner. Whether she's an occasional or habitual smoker, every West Island girl likes and knows her weed. If you're going for this girl, make sure you've got a hook up that can smoke you two on some grade-A green before the movie marathon begins. The West Island chick will probably end up dating someone from within her social bubble, so if you're not in it yet, get going!
The McGill Ghetto
Occupation: Student, volunteer and probably a member of one of her school's student associations
Can be Found: Barely being able to stand straight in her Michael Kors wedges in line at twoodles for some late night chow mein, flirting with the guy who stands behind the twoodles window or hogging two tables at the 24 hour Second Cup on Parc Ave., (she'll claim her friend's arriving any minute now).
Hobbies: Hosting pot lucks, playing manicure and carnival
Looking For: Someone who lives in the McGill ghetto. If she lives on Hutchison, she'll be looking for someone that lives a block away on Durocher. Close enough for the two of you to meet up on command and far enough so you won't see her falling out of a cab at 3am on a Saturday. Whether of not she's a nerd, this chick's got to keep her GPA up if she wants to keep living with her McGill roommates (she's afraid they'll judge her if she doesn't study as much as they do), so she'll be on the hunt for someone who's serious about his studies.
The South Shore
Occupation: Bar tending at Jack'Ees, working at the gas station or waiting tables at Mile Public House
Can be Found: Taking shots at the bar... this girl usually goes hard
Hobbies: Drinking, smoking and piercing new body parts
Looking For: The kind of person that has a Rottweiler. She doesn't care whether you're a construction worker or a salesman at Future Shop,as long as you feed her drinks and comfort food. The South Shore girl is looking for someone that doesn't mind going into the city to change up the scene from the usual Rack n' Roll.
How do you like your woman?
Contributing author: Eileen English