The Reality Of Having A Baby In Your 20s
Everything you wanted to know about being a young mommy.
There comes an age when parties don't seem as appealing anymore and we start thinking about building a family and becoming a parent. What is it really like to have a baby though? Is it going to change who you are as a person? Can you even afford to actually raise a child in Montreal? So many questions come to mind when I think about becoming a mother. That's why I decided to get in touch with Melody D'Amour, a gorgeous young mommy of a baby girl and co-owner of La Petite Robe Noire (@boutiquelapetiterobenoire), a modern-day closet-sharing concept that allows customers to rent designer clothes at affordable prices.
How do you stay fit?
Mostly by having NO time to eat, LOL. I’m always running around everywhere, from meetings to doctor’s appointments… carrying the baby, the diaper bag, my bags, etc. I don’t use my stroller (like ever). I’m obsessed with my baby carrier (which adds an extra 15 pounds everywhere you go).
I also TRY to workout in the morning while my fiancé takes the baby, I TRY to eat as healthy as I can (we’re big foodies in our house, we like to cook a LOT) and I also do Slimwave (a service I offer at my store) - it’s a muscle stimulator. It really helps and it gives me a little hour away from home twice a week!
Photo cred - Melody D'Amour
What do you miss most about your life without a child?
Being able to just leave the house with my purse and go anywhere I want. With a baby, you have to plan EVERYTHING, especially when you’re breastfeeding, as I am. You always leave the house with a bunch of shit. Also, doing NOTHING. Getting up on a Sunday, ordering in and watching movies all day. Now I can barely find the energy to keep my eyes open for more than 5 minutes into the movie.
Does having a baby represent a big financial burden? Does our government do a good job in helping out in this department?
Being self-employed (business owner) it is hard financially, you need to have a good plan. For us, I had just started my business when I got pregnant, so we had to figure out a way [for] my fiancé [to] provide for all of us. Slowly the business is picking up and we [are becoming] more comfortable. The government needs to readjust the maternity leave rules for self-employees definitely.
What is the single most gratifying thing about having a child?
To know that this little person depends on you so much and to see how they look at you. You are their whole world. It’s the best feeling but also the scariest. I don’t go a day without crying of happiness because I’m so overwhelmed with joy……and hormones! LOL
Is your social life as active as it was before? If so, how do you juggle the responsibilities of having a child + having a social life?
My daughter is 5 months old so I’m not quite ready to go [back] into the world fully again. I try to keep a close relationship with my friends because they are very important to me. As you grow, you lose a lot of friends, as you have babies, you have like 3 left. LOL People will slowly call and text you less, especially if they don’t have kids and are far from having any. To most of my friends I’ve become the annoying mom who doesn’t wanna leave the house after 7 p.m. and I’m fine with that. I do wanna start to make time to have a night out at least once every month or two so I don’t become insane.
Are you worried you’re going to miss out on anything? Do you ever get FOMO?
Not at all, especially not going out. I watch the clubbing Snapchats sometimes on Sunday mornings and think: "How the hell did I use to do this every weekend?" It looks exhausting to me… plus I certainly don’t miss the hangovers.
How do you manage your time? Is it difficult to run a business when you have a baby?
So hard, you have to be VERY organized. I have a schedule for everything: appointments, meetings, things to do... even cleaning my house, EVERYTHING. It saves my life. I feel like when I’m having a great day at work, doing everything I need to do, I’m failing as a mom, and vice versa. It’s a lot of adjustment. I really envy the moms who have a maternity leave. I was back on my emails a month after delivering and it was SO hard, considering I had like 2 hours of sleep in my system max. But you do the best that you can do!
Did you ever have a preference, boy or girl?
I have a very strong relationship with my godson, so at first I wanted a boy, but I was SO surprised when I found out I was having a girl. I honestly am having the best time dressing her up every morning and I’m looking forward to the mother-daughter relationship we will have!
Have you changed as a person since you gave birth to a child? If so, how?
I’m definitely more organized, I’m more calm. I never really cared what people think of me but now I truly couldn't care less. Even though my body has changed dramatically, I’m not obsessed to [become] as perfect as I was before. I work hard to be a better person everyday and be the best mom and partner I can be.
Photo cred - Melody D'Amour
Has your relationship with your man changed in any way?
The first 3 months, you’re so exhausted and everything is very new to both of you. So it’s a lot of adjustments, but once you have routine it’s all good! I love him more than ever, he’s the best father I could have asked for and he truly is an amazing fiancé. I think it made us stronger. It changed for the better and we don’t see our relationship as something that could possibly fail. We’re a team and we work through the issues together.