Why Montreal Is Making You Fat
People will always choose bagels over kale in the city.
Photo cred - This is why we're fat
Now as a little disclaimer, I’d like to say that I’m of the belief that all bodies are beautiful. This post isn’t about body shaming or telling you how you should and shouldn’t look. That’s not my place, nor is it anybody else’s for that matter. All that matters is that you feel confident, whether your 90 or 300 pounds. The experience I’m drawing off is of my personal unwanted weight gain, and why I think this city is fully to blame for it. It’s your entire fault Montreal.
1. Drunk Snacking
Not only has my alcohol consumption raised exponentially, but in my inebriated state I have submitted to the bad habit of drunk snacking. Mostly Two Chow, but poutine is also a popular favourite of mine. Why must this terrible food, be so convenient and delicious?
2. The Munchies
On top of drinking more, Montreal will also make you smoke more. A lot more. Don’t ask me why, it’s just a city of stoners. So generally when you smoke a lot, you also want to eat a lot. I never understood Taco Bell until I moved here. Now I totally see the appeal.
3. Hungover Comfort
After all the over drinking your bound to do, you will be plagued with a good old-fashioned Montreal style hangover. You can do all the tricks. Drink a glass of water before bed. Take a cold shower. Drink black coffee. But nothing cures a hangover better than stuffing your face.
Photo cred - Tiffany Hang
4. Student Stress Snacking
Since Montreal is a booming University city, we have a lot of kids stressed about their midterms. I can safely say that studying is so much easier when you have a box of doughnuts to comfort you.
5. MTL Blog Food Porn
Yes we have played a part in this. We post an average of two bacon themed articles a day. We’re very, very sorry (not sorry).
6. Every Restaurant Is Open Late
Not only can you get a midnight snack, but you can also get a 4AM snack. Montreal makes I so accessible for you to snack whenever you want, even if it is at ridiculous hours.
7. No Time
Like I said before this is a city of students. Not only that but it’s a city of students who work and have kids and social lives. We got absolutely no time to take an hour or two out of our day to make the healthy, Pinterest perfect dinner.
8. Group Mentality
Very rarely will you find someone in Montreal who is going to pick kale over bagels. There is a group mentality when it comes to eating. We eat together, we get fat together, that’s the deal.
Photo cred - Jessamyn West
9. Res Food
I’ve lived in Res. Let me assure you that the only good tasting food they have in those cafeterias are fried and greasy. And even if you do try to give the healthy kick a go, your stomach will still feel like you ate McDonalds.
Last, but certainly not least is the Montreal brunch obsession. Brunch is a big deal here. And we eat it accordingly. You could probably eat all of your “allotted calories” for the day, in one bite of Montreal brunch.