I often hear fellow Montrealers complain about struggling to find love in our city. Countless dates, dating apps, bars, restaurants, clubs... still, no signs of any romantic interest. I have friends who go out of their way to attend different events in hopes of meeting their Mr. Big (Sex And The City reference, FYI). The amount of times I've received the text, "Irina, come to the 5 à 7 in the Old Port, lots of cute guys here" is insane.
I was actually one of these people, desperately trying to "look" for the one. Until one day I stopped and realized that I'm being desperate. That's when it hit me - why am I in such a rush to find someone? Am I not satisfied with my single lifestyle? I am. There are no rules or curfew, I can do whatever I please, I don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings... Single life is great.
Once you realize that being alone is not as bad as your parents think it is, life turns around. You end up doing the things you like, focusing on you career, mind, body and soul. You get to spend as much time as you want with your friends and family. In other words, you become complete and satisfied as is. You no longer have the need to be with someone in order to feel like you're worth something. In addition, you finally start to remember what it feels like to love yourself. That's a very important factor.
When you realize your own self worth, you start to exude love. You don't actually need anyone to feel balanced and satisfied, remember this. You are already complete. If you project love that you have for yourself, your friends and your family, it's what you will attract. The universe will send you what you are. Yes, I'm a firm believer in the law of attraction.
Besides, love never happens when you actively "look" for it. It just kind of finds you when you least expect it (it sounds so cheesy, sorry, not sorry). On your way to work, while you're shopping or just walking Downtown, it will hit you like a wrecking ball and catch you by surprise. Stop looking for love, because you won't find it. Love will find you. I promise, it will happen once you stop looking.
I remember when my (single) girlfriend looked at me like I was crazy when I told her that I wasn't dating around anymore. My weekends consist of spending time with my family, friends and watching Netflix. She asked me, "How the f*ck are you going to meet anyone like that?" Oh, don't you worry about me, honey.
You need to focus on YOU. Take advantage of being single in order to learn things about yourself, do all the activities you enjoy doing and just live life. By doing this, you will: 1) be happy and 2) ready for the real thing to actually find you. Because when you're desperate and unsatisfied, you're closed off to the rest of the world and/or end up attracting all the wrong people. It's as simple as that. Be the best version of yourself and wonderful things will start to happen.