Canada is home to some really amazing places. From our mountains to our great lakes to our vast planes, we've got some pretty incredible #views up here. I am extremely proud to share Canada's landmarks with the rest of the world.
Though I would love to only concentrate on the good, I couldn't help but notice that Canada is also home to some really freaking strange places. I would love to know who on Earth came up with these names and concepts because I think they could use some help.
And when I mean strange, I mean strange. These names aren't hard to pronounce or anything, they just really shouldn't designate official areas or monuments, anywhere, ever.
Yep, you're reading that correctly. Yellowknife actually has a street called "Ragged Ass Road". Apparently, it was made up by three drunk dudes (understandably), but then the nickname became so popular that they decided to make it official. The sign's been stolen so many times that the town had to weld it on. They've sold replicas, t-shirts, stickers and in 2012, some guy on a Westjet flight was even asked to take his off because it was too offensive. Well done, Canada.
2. Dead Man’s Flats
This hamlet in Alberta somehow managed to mess up twice. Their first name is Dead Man's Flats, but it's also recognized as Pigeon Mountain. They didn't get it right the first time, nor did they get it right the second time. Apparently, they got the name from three beaver trappers who played dead to escape the park ranger who was in the area. Whether it was real or not, having "dead man" in the name of your town doesn't exactly inspire happiness.
So apparently Canada is okay with everyone associated this town with a Disney character as soon as they hear the name. Obviously, Pocahontas was a real person, but come on when you hear the name you think of the animated movie with the cute ass raccoon. Located in Alberta's Rockies, we have Pocahontas campgrounds, and nearby you can find the also shittily named Punchbowl bowl. What the hell is a punchbowl? Come on, Canada.
4. Salmon Arm
I honestly don't really get how they came up with this one. Salmon don't even have arms! They're fish for crying out loud. Regardless, this town in British Colombia has seen fit to name their town after this physical impossibility. They are apparently referencing the arm of a lake that gets full of salmon but come on was that really the only thing you could think of?
So, this community in Prince Edward Island thought it was a good idea to name themselves after an ugly ol' frog. I mean no offense to all the toads out there, feel free to keep on wallowing around in the mud. If no one in Canada spoke French then I'd say it doesn't matter because no one will notice. But the thing is, pretty much everyone knows what crapaud means. And even if they don't, English speakers might think this place intentionally put "crap" in their name.
6. Happy Adventure
This joyful Canadian thing is going a little bit far if you ask me. Who the heck names a town "Happy Adventure"? Located in Newfoundland and Labrador, this town is last recorded to be the home of 200 people. There are three main theories that people have about the origin of the name. One says it's named after a boat, another says it's because the place is so beautiful, and the last says some dude just kind of decided.
This one is just downright hard to pronounce. Come on, New Brunswick give us a break. If you think about the fact that it is actually not derived from English it makes a lot more sense. The Maliseet First Nation, part of the Algonquin Federation have the word Quispamsis that actually means "little lake in the woods".
You know when a baby just starts talking and their parents start freaking out thinking that everything that comes out of their mouth is a word? Well, I'm pretty sure that's what happened here. This rural community in Nova Scotia is likely named after the Mi'kmaw word Moosaboon-elagwaak which means "a pile of hair". Riighhht. Pile of hair?
The sex references just keep on coming (no pun intended). It would definitely make me a little bit uncomfortable to live in a place called Climax if I'm being completely honest here. This rural municipality in Saskatchewan, Canada clearly doesn't care though.
This one is just fun to say. Come on. Say it. Goooooobies. Located in Newfoundland and Labrador, this place sounds an awful lot like "boobies". If I were them, I probably would've picked a different name, but I guess sometimes you just run out of ideas. Maybe they had a deadline. But then again, maybe they actually liked the name Goobies.
11. Blow Me Down
Enough with the damn sex jokes, seriously! But, I mean when it comes to Blow Me Down Provincial Park in Newfoundland and Labrador, it is kind of hard to resist. I'm sure they were trying to reference the wind, but they named a street and a park "blow me down". It's their own damn fault if people giggle when they drive by.
The name of this Canadian municipality really goes great with fries or a good sandwich. And that's the way it should remain, between bread. Who the heck calls a place Mayo? Apparently, Canadians do. This Papineau Regional County Municipality of western Quebec is located northeast of the city of Gatineau and is sure to make anyone who drives by it get hungry for lunch.
13. Bacon Ridge
Well, now this place just makes me hungry. Why would you name a place after bacon? It's actually kind of ironic if you think about it seeing as it's an Ecological Reserve Recognized by the World Wildlife Fund. So the point here is to save animals, not eat them. Good job, Manitoba.
I don't really have any words for this one. Newfoundland and Labrador definitely do not give any fucks, and I kind of applaud them for it. They've had this name since the 1700s, so it didn't originally actually have anything to do with the sex toy. People aren't even really sure exactly what it originally meant, beyond the possible reference to the dildo glass, a cylindrical tube. People have been petitioning to change the name for years, but the majority are proud and want to keep the name. They even celebrate "Dildo Days", led by their mascot Captain Dildo.
I'm definitely not laughing at this one. Come on, Quebec! Apparently, the archaic French word “ha-ha” means an unexpected obstacle or end of a path, so the name was actually meant to describe the geography of the area. Lake Témiscouata, just beyond the town would be the "ha-ha" then. Well, at least it's the only town in the world that has two exclamations points in its name.
Well, I mean at least this one is accurate. That is indeed, a sculpture of a big head. Outside the entrance to Banff National Park in Canmore, Alberta, Alan Henderson was paid to create a sculpture in commemoration of the town's name. In Gaelic, Ceannmore means “big head”. So, I guess he just ran with it. Big head it is! He probably could've come up with a better name though.
This one is my personal favorite. Most nice parks have a grand name, something that inspires contemplation or relaxation. At the very least it lets you know where you are. But no, Vancouver BC doesn't care about that. They go for accuracy. Though it isn't the official name of the park when sign identical to Vancouver's official Park Department signs was put up in 2012 as a joke, people took such a liking to it. Naturally, the town took it down. But after a petition went around and got over 1,500 signatures, they put it back. And now it's there to stay.
Imagine the look on people's faces when they ask "Where are you from?" and you have to answer with "Eyebrow". Well, for residents of this Saskatchewan town, it's a reality. It's originally named after an eyebrow-shaped hill, which I guess makes sense. But still! You couldn't think of anything besides "eyebrow"? At least they went with a pretty harmless body part. It could've been worse.
19. Punkeydoodles Corners
Yeah I don't even know what to say about this one. It sounds made up! I mean, are you sure Punkeydoodles is actually a word? To me, it sounds more like a bad TV show for kids. Turns out, it actually isn't a word! Apparently, an old German keeper at a tavern in Ontario would sing "Yankee Doodle", but with his accent, it sounded like he was saying "Punkey Doodle". Figures.
Really!? I'm honestly surprised that the citizens let this be the name of their town. I wouldn't be proud of it. Yes, of course the word originally had nothing to do with Hitler and the Nazi party, but the connotations are too strong to ignore in my opinion. City officials of this Ontario town near Kirkland did change the name to Winston in World War 2, but residents were enraged and tore down the sign and replaced it with one that said: "To Hell with Hitler, we had the swastika first". I guess that's true seeing as they've had the name since 1907.
21. Ball's Falls
When I think of the picturesque waterfalls in Ontario, the first word that comes to mind isn't exactly "balls". I think the name kind of distracts from the beauty. Though the falls were originally named after John and George Ball, brothers who discovered the area in the 19th century, I still think they could've come up with something better. If your last name is "Ball", you should know better.
If any place in Canada was going to have the name "Stoner", it would be British Colombia. Though it isn't actually named that because of BC's weed, I'm sure they like to believe it is. I definitely do. It's actually named after Stone Creek. Though the doesn't exactly harness respect, it definitely gets a laugh. Good enough.
23. Mosquito-Grizzly Bear's Head-Lean Man
This one is a bit of a mouthful and I mean at this point, you can call your town whatever you want. This place is actually an Assiniboine First Nation reserve in Cando, Saskatchewan, Canada. The population living there is about 300 people. Basically, the names comes from the three tribes that originally lived there, and they wanted everyone to be included in the name: Mosquito Band, the Grizzly Bear’s Head Band and the Lean Man Band. So, I mean there's a good reason for this one.
24. Big Beaver
Sexual innuendos shouldn't really be part of the name of a location if you ask me. But, hey it looks like Canada doesn't really care about that. If you don't know what this is referencing, you need to Google it. I'm not saying it. This hamlet in Saskatchewan doesn't really care what people think about this name.
25. Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump
I'm not really a fan of the super-matter-of-fact kind of names, you know the ones that describe just a little too literally what happened. But hey, I mean if they're trying to bring attention to something historical, go right ahead. This location in Alberta is named because Aboriginal hunters used to run buffalos off of cliffs when they were hunting them. Unfortunately, one of the hunters got mixed up in the fall, but at least he got a place named after him.
This town in British Colombia is named for the huge rapids near the area on the Kootenay River. So, really it's a super beautiful park. But why did they have to give it such a weird ass name? It just sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me. Well, that's probably because it's not English. It's actually Chinook Jargon, a revived Indigenous language.
27. Witless Bay
Come on now, this one just makes us seem like a bunch of dummies. We aren't witless, I swear. Witless Bay is a town in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador and I am here to say that this is a pretty bad name. For someone so beautiful, with such amazing views and nature, they could've come up with something that does the place a little more justice.
28. Flin Flon
Did they have a contest for who could come up with the strangest name and have it be passed off as a city? Well, actually no. But they did decide to name their town after a science-fiction character. On the correction line in the boundary of Manitoba and Saskatchewa, you can find Flin Flon.
I mean you really can't get more Canadian than this. Located in southern Saskatchewan, you are sure to remember this name. There's also this huge ass sculpture, Mac the Moose, that stands by the Trans-Canadian highway, so if you ever had any doubt about how Canadian this place is, that will be sure to remind you.
30. Sober Island
As opposed to drunk island? Sober Island is a place on the Eastern shore of Halifax in Nova Scotia. I doubt they've adopted this name because they are particularly proud of their sobriety, but hey who knows? They've even doubled up with the name and named a large pond in the middle of the island, Sober Island Pond.