There will be no snow on Christmas this year in Montreal and for most of Canada. But Christmas without snow just isn't the same.
The light seem less magical, the street looks a lot dirtier and I never noticed just how ugly bare trees are without a light dusting of snow on the branches.
We have to face the truth, winter isn't coming. But luckily there are ways to compensate for the lack of snow and recreate all those enchanting christmas moments, and the best part is they're only slightly insane.
1. Ruin Your Shoes All By Yourself!
Mix 1 part salt with 10 parts water in your sink and shoes in it. Then just let them dry and your shoes are ready for winter.
2. Shovel Something Else
Buy a bag of sand and pour it all over your front wheels after you park your car. That way when you wake up in the morning, you can shovel that shit out of the way and get to work late like you normally would.
3. Mess Up Your Entrance
You need to give that weather mat a purpose or it will surely question its self-worth. Simply pour a glass of water in your front entrance and sprinkle a few pebbles all over the place. Voilà.
4. Ice Your Front Steps
If you're lucky, temperatures will dip below freezing overnight, then you wake up in the morning you'll have a nice sheet of slippery ice you can try to avoid.
5. Put Your Porch In Winter Mode
Put something heavy outside your door. That way you can't open it and you can just pretend it's blocked by a snow bank or just frozen shut.
6. Buy Old Tires With No Tread
You'll be slipping and sliding all over the place and if you're lucky maybe you'll even get into a fender bender.
7. Park 2 Blocks Away On Purpose
Since there are no snow piles taking up all the prime parking spots, you can just pretend you couldn't find a spot and park really far away. As a bonus you can park too close to a fire hydrant and call a tow truck on your on yourself.
8. Drive Really Slowly
That way you can pretend you're looking out for black ice or that you're stuck behind a snow plow.