We all had more than enough lolz at the new Rob Ford video that surfaced last night, but the question on everyone's mind is: what nasty ass fast food joint does Rob Ford go to when he's in a drunken stupor?
We got you're answer. Sticking to his Etobicoke roots, Rob Ford hit up 'Steak Queen' to drunkenly ramble in a Jamaican accent. Can't say I'm surprised. A man as big as Ford must love to get his arteries clogged on the regs, and a place called Steak Queen sounds like the place to do it.
Now, second point of interest: was Ford even speaking real sentences during his Jamaican impersonation? Thanks to a precise translation from the National Post, we can say yes, he was making (some) sense. I guess someone over at the NP can speak 'wasted white guy.' Here's a breakdown of Ford's stunning soliloquy.
Cocksuckers. Fuckin’ Chief Blair and them all. Cha, man. They chase me around for five months, man. Bumbaclot man. I said, me and him, ya raasclat bumbaclot.
Leave me alone, man. They got five months man, and then trying to tell me ‘well, we’re counter-surveilling the guy.’ You know what I mean? He’s hiding here, I’m’a hide here. I’m’a—oh, we don’t—f*ck off.
You know how much money that costs, man? I said bro, just cut something, ‘no man, no money man.’ Cha. Ah, Bumbaclot, man. I said ‘you know what? You raasclat, bumbaclot. I swear to God, man, honestly man. Serious shit, man. Serious shit, bro.
RANDO: All we know is we got the best mayor in the world right here.
FORD: No, seriously, you know …
RANDO: This guy deserves to be even better than Prime Minister Harper.
[At this point, the two talk over each other]
RANDO: Harper is the guy who is fucking up. I always tell them go become the Prime Minister of Canada.
FORD: No, no, no, no. I don’t bullsh*t, you know? I’m a straight up guy, you know?
Who goes into THC? Who’s going into Jamestown, Jane and Finch and then Malvern on the—them fucks—you know what I see, manbro? Shit like …
Pure magic. Hopefully we'll see more of Ford's drunken stupor very, very soon.
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