Okay, so I know astrology isn't everyones cup of tea. Most of the time people are on either end of the spectrum - you love it or you hate it. If you're part of the latter group I suggest you click away now because we're going to be talking star signs today. In particular, Cancers. I'm a Cancer so I feel like I'm a little bit of an expert on the subject. So, for all my fellow Cancer babes or astrology enthusiasts here is why I dislike being a Cancer.
1. The Crab
Why? Why would you ever make someones star sign a crab? It's like the worst possible choice of animal. Leos get to be lions. Tauruses get to be bulls. Hell, Aquarians are fvcking mermen. What gives? Also the mythology behind the Cancer crab isn't great. Basically, he tried to kill Hercules.
2. "You're So Moody"
Cancers are the notoriously "moody" sign. People always think we're crying and yelling and complaining. I'd just like to say this is not true in the slightest and that we're just in touch with our emotions. Sue us.
Photo cred - healthandsciencedegree
3. Everyone Likens Your Sign To A Disease
I think this is pretty self explanatory. No one likes to say "I'm a Cancer."
4. People Are Mean To Cancers
If you've ever been on any sort of astrology forum you'll know that people like to pick on Cancers. Don't ask me why. I guess our emotional nature, disease name, and general "crabbiness" make us easy targets.
We're essentially meant to be the Martha Stewart of the star signs. We're supposed to be nurturing home bodies who love to cook. That's a lot of pressure, man. I can barely use a microwave.
6. The 'Sexy' Sign
Not only are we meant to be an all around care-taker, but we're also meant to be great in the sack. I'm not saying we're not amazing at the sexy stuff, because we are, but it's more than that. We're supposed to be "romantic". The expectation is that we're going to give you a great time, then immediately make you a sandwich and buy you flowers. Nu-uh.
7. Our Sign Is Full Of Contradictions
My advice is to not even read up on your sign because, besides the two aforementioned points, nothing is consistent. How am I supposed to be emotionally in tune but also closed off? How can I be independent but also clingy? GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER PEOPLE!
Photo cred - unsacredsanity
8. Everyone Is Always Busy On Your Birthday
Having a birthday in the middle of the summer really sucks because everyone is always busy. They're either working or at the cottage. You can't enjoy the summer sun on your birthday when everybody is preoccupied. I guess it's ice cream cake and Netflix again this year.
9. Secret Cult
I feel like all the other zodiac signs are in a weird cult together. You rarely meet other people who want to admit to they're a Cancer, so we're left out. All the Virgos get to gab about how alike they are, while Cancers just sit in ashamed silence. *Silent weeping.
Photo cred - giphy
All joking aside, I think Cancers are the most misunderstood of all the signs. People overlook our loyalty, creativity and bomb sense of humour. We're mysterious, sensitive, great kissers and "deep". So for all you Cancerians out there, go on with your bad self and take comfort in the fact that everyone loves and underdog.