10 Signs That You're Too Old To Go Clubbing
#8 You can't stand loud music.
There is a point in your life when you wake up one morning and realize that you're not experiencing major FOMOs on Saturday nights anymore. It's a wonderful feeling. You're totally content with staying in and cuddling your dog. What a relief! You feel like you finally beat the system.
Hardcore clubbing is a life stage that most people go through in their early to mid twenties. Then, as we mature, we realize that there are other things in life that we actually enjoy more than tequila shots. So here are 10 signs that you're too old to go clubbing.
1. You cringe at the thought of feeling hungover
Gone are the days when you could party for many days in a row and wake up super fresh afterwards. You may or may not know that the best hangover cure is being under the age of 25. Now is a different story. You can have one drink and feel like dying the next day. So any party that involves alcohol gets you really worried with anticipation of tomorrow. Like, "I can't go out, I need to be a normal person tomorrow."
2. You actually don't mind the idea of "Netflix and Chill"
Movies, bed and, possibly, pizza? That's the best trio of life. Clubbing could never ever compare to the kind of satisfaction that this trifecta can bring.
3. You love when your going out plans get cancelled
Your friend calls you last minute to say that he/she can't make it tonight? A couple years ago, you would have gotten really pissed at them. Not today, though. Today, you get excited they cancelled! You actually wanted to cancel yourself, but felt bad to do so because you've been planning this outing for months. Yay!
4. You have a special relationship with your bed
In the morning, when you get out of bed, you start fantasizing about reuniting with it at the end of the day. There is nothing that you're more attached to than your bed. Bed is life. You're just a big toasty cinnamon bun when you're in it.
5. You don't feel like dressing up
When your friends ask you if you want to grab a drink at night, you immediately think to yourself, "Ok, so I'm going to have to shower, put make up on, pick an outfit, do my hair.... Yeah, thanks but no thanks!" It's not worth the effort, basically.
6. You can't stand typical club people
The sight of girls in their sparkly dresses gathered around a table loaded with bottles sets off your gag reflex. You can't help but judge the fuckboys at the club either.... Like, you're not about that life anymore.
7. You love the feeling of not going out and saving money
You love it when you stay in on the weekend and save a bunch of money that you could eventually spend on things that actually matter... like a sick car or a bigger place.
8. You can't stand loud music
Loud music gives you heart palpitations. Remember the days when you wanted to dance next to or on top of the speakers? LOL Now, you have a mild headache but a vivid sense of satisfaction every time you leave the club... like, "Thank god, it's over and I'm going home."
9. You want to actually remember spending time with your friends
Who are we kidding here? Going out to a club means blacking out half way through. You don't actually get to spend quality time with your friends. Now you prefer having your favorite people come over for a BBQ instead or something. That way you can actually remember your conversations the next day. It's wonderful.
10. You prefer the company of your pet or being alone instead of being surrounded by a bunch of drunk people
You find drunk people gross and would much rather cuddle your dog than be surrounded by sweaty, sleazy, screaming party people. Yuckyuckyuck.