If there's one thing Montrealers are good at (aside from looking sexy af) it's complaining, whining, or any other linguistic form b*tching may take. Sometimes, the city's constant need to point out what's awful with something actually creates some positive change, like during a worthwhile protest or social movement.
Most of the time, though, it's useless, and we're all tired of it.
In truth, Montreal is a pretty happy place, but mention a certain topic to any given citizen, and they'll certainly respond with a tirade of negativity. You know it, we know it, and it's getting a little old.
See what we mean with the 10 things every Montrealer is sick and f*cking tired of talking about below.
The F*ckstorm That Is Winter
Oh no, it's starting to get cold in December? OMG, that's just like last year, and the year before that, and, guess what? The year before that too! That's because it's how the f*cking seasons work, idiot. Stop acting so surprised it's getting cold outside, stop complaining about it, and stop mentioning the harshness that is winter every chance you get.
We f*cking know, and we'd rather not talk about it anymore.
Justin F*cking Trudeau
Yes, it's pretty cool that the new Prime Minister is from Montreal, and even cooler that he's pretty sexy (at least for a politician) but can we all please stop f*cking talk about Trudeau, for like, a second?
It was cool when we were all just jazzed to have Harper kicked out, but now it's getting f*cking ridiculous.
Whoa, Justin has a f*cking nanny that Canada pays for? Well, he is running the f*cking country, so maybe we should just relax and let the man do his job. Oh, and stop saying all that "he's a Prime Minister for Montreal" garbage, because no one can say that until Trudeau actually does something that will directly benefit Montrealers, aside from legalizing weed, of course.
Let the Trudeamania mellow the f*ck out and shut up about Justin.
The ST f*cking M
There is almost next to no justification for people sh*tting all over the city's public transit network, better known as the STM.
Granted, the buses have been pretty sucky lately, but the metro is more reliable than almost any other network on the continent, even though it shuts down once in a while.
Give the STM the credit it deserves and f*cking be quiet.
Not gonna lie, we are the biggest perpetrators of talking too f*cking much about poutine, and if we can recognize that fact, so should you.
First, yes, poutine is delicious, but we all know that already. F*cking duh. And now you're complaining about all the calories you ingested after eating a poutine? Well who the f*ck's fault is that? Oh, right, yours.
Zip your lips, eat a poutine if you want it, and only breathe a word about it if there's all you can f*cking eat poutine going on somewhere.
Syrian Refugee Bashing F*ckers
There's really only one sort of thing people should be saying when talking about all the Syrian refugees currently heading to and living in Montreal, and it should be along the lines of "great job Quebec, we should be helping this people in need."
All you f*cks saying shit like "terrorist scum!" or "this is how ISIS will destroy us" need to seriously shut the f*ck up. The rest of us with functional hearts and minds are tired of talking to you about how stupid you are.
The Language F*cking Police
Granted, it's hard not to shit talk the OQLF when they're forcing towns to change their signs or removing "pasta" from an Italian restaurant's menu (#Pastagate) but maybe if we shut the f*ck up about the Language Police, they'll just go away. If we put them out of mind, maybe they'll get out of sight, just like the evil witch in that Merlin mini-series from '98.
Probably not, but lets not give the OQLF any more power and just STFU about 'em.
The Motherf*cking Economy
The job scene sucks pretty hard in Montreal, but instead of bitching about it, why don't you shut your f*cking trap and do something about it? Whining isn't going to get you anywhere, especially for all you Anglophones saying how "I would get a job if I spoke French."
So why don't you, you know, learn f*cking French? Then you can deal with the poor job prospects for professionals that still exist regardless of what language you speak, making sure to stop talking about it.
Lets get something pretty clear here Montreal: Toronto don't give a f*ck about this one-sided "rivalry" we got going on, so just let it go.
Fine, maybe you do know the random Torontonian who keeps on saying "In Toronto, we have this" every time they visit, but for the most part, people in the 6ix don't give Montreal a second of their attention in a given day.
Neither should we, so stop talking about how we're f*cking better than Toronto. Besides, the two cities are different which doesn't mean better or worse. But like, we are f*cking better anyway.
Stop f*cking complaining about them and just focus on driving around them. Or, better yet, actually getting involved in how the city runs and try to get your borough leader to actually make the roads better.
To be fair, pothole-riddled roads are a pretty prevelant problem in Montreal and the province at-large, and most people feel the only way they can do anything is to complain about it, which is understandable, but so f*cking false.
Lay off the negativity, deal with the reality, and stop taking about it.
Expo Sixty F*cking Seven
Expo 67 was huge for Montreal, like fifty f*cking years ago.
As important as it is to preserve the memory of such an important moment in Montreal history, how about we let it go and work towards creating a new, even better global event?
No, fine, whatever, just please stop talking about how f*cking amazing Expo 67 was, or Montreal used to be in 60s, because most of us aren't ancient enough to have been there, and so we don't care.
F*cking MTL Blog Drama
Stop the f*cking presses, there's a typo in one of MTL Blog's articles? That blonde Russian girl posted something you're not a fan of? MTL Blog won't write about your boring-ass event? Cool, now just let it go.
Seriously, we work at MTL Blog and seem to talk about it less than most people.
Hey, how about instead of taking 10 minutes out of your day to write some long-winded, hate-filled message or comment, you do something productive with your day? Or, just, you know, actively avoid the f*cking sh*t you hate to read, because it is in your power to just not click on a link.
And really, if you're going to make fun of or sh*t on MTL Blog, leave it to the professionals.