Gay guys get misunderstood, a lot, at least when it comes to our lifestyle. The largest misconception is that all gay guys share a specific lifestyle, one that's a big ball of sex, abs, and partying. If only that were true.
The largest culprit of reinforcing the gay stereotype, even though they don't really mean to, are straight girls. Now, I'm not talking about all straight girls, I'm speaking directly to the young, pretty, party-girl demographic of heterosexual women, otherwise known as a "fuck girl" nowadays.
Such women seem to have a singular conception for all gay men, one that's far from reality. To illustrate what I'm talking about, here are 14 things straight girls never seem to understand about gay guys.
We don't want to be your "gay best friend."
Pretty straight girls seem to have the idea in their head that any and all guys who like guys want to be their "gay best friend," otherwise known as a GBF. Basically, gay guys have become a weird accessory, with a token queer sought after by every girl crew, for a mix of strange and slightly offensive reasons.
In truth, gay guys do not give two shits about being your "best gay." How about being just your "friend," without making our sexuality define us? Nah, that'd be a little too progressive for some folks.
We don't know (or care) if that outfit looks good on you.
Being gay doesn't automatically give us a sense of fashion. Sorry.
We can, however, tell you if an outfit looks bad, because being gay does make you inherently sassy.
We aren't hooking up all the time.
Stop saying things like "oh, it's so easy for you, you're gay" or "can't you just have sex whenever?" because it simply isn't true.
Yes, gay male culture is stereotyped as some sort of massive sex party where we're all having anonymous hook ups through Grindr, which in all fairness isn't super far from the truth, but it really isn't as easy to get laid as y'all seem to think. If anything, it's easier to get some when you're a straight girl.
We don't want to hear about your guy problems.
Oh, is your man not texting you back as often as you like? He isn't taking you on expensive dates? OMG sad face times infinity!
Expect not really, because no one but you gives any shits. Gay guys have vastly different relation-shit problems than straight couples, so not only do we not care about your man issues, we can barely even relate.
We don't like to be called "so cute" when we're with our boyfriends.
Much like straight guys, gay dudes loathe being called cute. It's just a negative reaction our entire sex has, no matter what. "Cute" makes us seem like fluffy unicorns, not men.
Sure, me and my man are f*cking cute as hell, but you don't need to tell us that. Trust, we know.
We don't want you to be our "fag hag" and party with us.
Another assumption straight girls make is that gay guys want a "fag hag" to go out partying with them. For folks who don't know, a fag hag is basically what it sounds like, namely a girl who hangs out with mostly gay dudes.
But you know what happens when straight girls infiltrate gay events? Straight guys get savvy and follow them there. And then there's just a brunch of hetero breeders grinding and making out at what's supposed to be a gay event. So please, for our sake, please stay home.
We don't want to hear you complain about how "all the good ones are gay."
Making it sound like every single gay dude is some masterpiece of human perfection is more than hyperbolic, it's super-false. There are slimy assholes who are gay just like their are straight guys who suck.
Stop blaming your lack of a quality man on us, it makes it sound like being gay is a problem, one that's negatively affecting others. You're the one with the problem here.
We don't need you to stand up for us.
I need to use a hilariously bad Hilary Duff PSA to illustrate this point, which you can watch here. For those who don't want to see the Duff in action, it goes like this: two girls use "gay" as a negative term, Hilary Duff steps in as the saviour for all homos and reprimands the two girls, end scene.
Now, it's totally cool that Duff and other straight girls are being supportive of queers, but seriously, we don't need you to fight our battles. We can handle that ourselves. And if you need to explain how "being gay is okay" to someone for us, don't bother, because we don't want to be around that hater anyway.
We aren't "one of the girls."
Understand that just because we share the same sexual preferences, that doesn't mean gay guys and straight women are exactly the same. So, no, we aren't comfortable about you talking about your flow-cycles in front of us, because that's gross.
We don't want to give you sex tips. Seriously.
I get it, as guys who get with guys, straight girls assume that we know everything there is to know about pleasuring the masculine form. This is true, but we don't do it the same way as straight folks do, so please stop asking.
This goes double for any straight girl who wants advice on anal sex. Seriously, the gay guy in your life does not want to have that conversation.
We don't want to be set up with "that gay guy" you know.
Unless we share some common interests or activities, and don't just happen to both like dudes, then please refrain from setting us up. Unfortunately, the latter is way more frequent, as straight folks tend to assume that just because two guys are gay, they'll automatically want to meet each other. Nope, sorry, we don't really give two shits about the random queer you knew in high school.
Unless he's super hot, obviously.
We don't all watch RuPaul's Drag Race.
Yes, like 90% of gay guys watch this show, but that doesn't mean you should just assume we do. The amount of times I've been asked "Omg, do you watch Drag Race?" by a straight girl at a party right after she found out I'm gay is pretty staggering.
And we don't all love Beyoncé and Lady Gaga
I mean, I do, and so has every other gay guy I've ever met, but there's got to be a few queers in the mix that don't, right? Actually, probably not, but all I'm trying to get at is that not all gay guys are into the same music, so stop typecasting us as "pop-electro-dance-party" lovers.
No, we don't want to make out with you.
God only knows why straight girls want to make out with gay dudes when they get drunk.
In all fairness, my ilk is to blame for this just as much as the straight girl tribe, so how about we both promise to stop this practice entirely, it's never very flattering for either party.