I love going out to eat. You get treated like royalty and you don't even have to do the dishes afterwards. Nothing about going out to a restaurant in Montreal sucks, except for the little things. Most of the time these things aren't a big deal and you ignore them but every once in awhile they piss you off. Probably more than they should.
Here are some things that have happened to me in various Montreal restaurants over the years.
1. When there's no one at the entrance to greet you
At most restaurants this doesn't matter. You walk in, you choose an empty seat and you sit down. But sometimes you're trying out a place for the first time, you take a look around and it's clearly a restaurant that prefers to assign you table, only there no one there. So you just stand there in the entrance awkwardly for a awhile until someone finally noticed you and takes you to your table.
2. When you make a reservation but you still have to wait
Yes, the reservation process isn't an exact science and you can't just kick out other people if they're eating too slowly. That's fine if you have to wait an extra 5 minutes. But when you're on your third cigarette and the hostess tell you it's only gonna be few more minutes, you start wondering what the hell was the point of making a reservation in the first place.
3. When you get your food first
You're the only person at the table who got their food. But now you have to stare at it as it slowly gets cold, wondering how long you have to wait before you're allowed to eat. Just bring everything out at once.
4. When you get your food last
You don't want to be an asshole so you tell everyone it's cool if they start without you. Only now you're jealously watching everyone else enjoying their food while you sit there hoping they won't be done eating by the time your plate comes out.
5. The bilingual menus
Entrees are appetizers in French but they're main dishes in English. Which seems counter intuitive. Entree means "entrance", it's the start of the meal, but how can you be eating the start of the meal if you already had a starter?
6. When they fuck up your food
You ordered a steak and by the third or 4th bite, you notice it's a little too burned. Normally you'd send it back, except everyone's had their food for about 10-15 minutes so if you send it back, everyone will be done eating by the time you get your food. So you have two choices eat a burned steak or eat by yourself.
7. When you can't find the waiter
The waiter brings your food and they disappear until it's time to pay the bill. you just wanted another beer or a water refill but it looks as if you'll have to ration your drink until the waiter magically appears again.
8. When they keep you hostage
You finished eating. You finished dessert. You're all out of coffee. You're ready to go. You already asked two different waiters for your bill but they just won't bring it. Finally they bring it to you and you ask them to pay by credit card. Now you're stuck waiting another 20 minutes while they go get it. Why won't they just let me leave?