It's warming up out there and I'm starting to realize how attractive everyone is under their winter layers. Seriously, Canadians are super stylish when summer comes around. You may have noticed this too and come to realize that your winter cuff is looking a little drab.
If you're ready to ditch the layers and the Netflix for drinks on terrasses and hanging in the park, you've probably already re-installed a dating app.
Moving from the initial "match" to an actual in-person date is a difficult journey rife with potential disasters. The most crucial part of this journey are the messages you send, so you have to be really careful about what you say, and when.
As a girl who has used Tinder, I now consider myself an expert on the matter, and I've compiled a list of messages you should NEVER send on Tinder, ever.
Dwelling on Physical Appearance
This isn't to say that "you look beautiful!" is inappropriate. But there's a line that you shouldn't cross when talking about a girl's physical appearance. Dwelling on someone's looks is weird. I already know that you find me at least a little attractive, because you matched with me in the first place.
Here's an example of a bad message:
And for crying out loud, don't criticize someone's appearance!! And, though this should be common sense, I would like to remind you that talking about someone's fat, scars, and private parts is NOT good conversation fodder.
Getting Way Too Sexual
Just. Stop. That is NOT CUTE, especially when it's the FIRST MESSAGE.
Talking About Your Ex
Sure, you just broke up with your ex. Yes, you're still upset about it. That's cool and all, but I don't need to hear about it just yet. I can give you a therapist's number, though. This is ESPECIALLY true if you're going to talk bad about your ex. That's a big red flag.
Taking Too Long To Ask For A Date
There's only so much you can say over messages. If you're vibing, ask her out! Sure, both parties are equally responsible for asking for a face-to-face meeting. But if your match is shy, speak up!
Not like this, though:
No one has patience for ambiguous signals. Be direct, but polite.
Being Too Forward About Meeting Up
On the other hand, it's also weird to want to meet up right away. Listen, I won't judge what you're on Tinder for. If you're looking for a casual hookup, good for you!
However, I like to think that romance isn't dead, so please at least TRY to pretend that you're interested in what I have to say.
There's nothing less attractive than someone being forward if they're not eloquent about it.
Just Being An American Tourist
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Those dudes who are around for the weekend "with the broskis," celebrating either someone's eighteenth birthday or a bachelor party.
This tweet sums it up pretty well:
Finding Someone On Their Socials Instead
If a girl doesn't give you her Insta handle or her number, there's a good reason. Don't be a creep and find her on social media instead. It's weird, and it pretty much guarantees you won't get a reply.
Replying With "Dead Ends"
By this I mean just answering "haha" or "cool" to messages. This is not cool because it makes you look uninterested (because you can't be bothered to ask a girl a question back or continuing the conversation in any way) and boring (because it makes you look like someone who can't hold a conversation).
Giving Unsolicited Political Advice
This should be obvious, but it's not. I'm not on Tinder to have you explain to me your wack political beliefs that I don't have time to argue with. I'm especially confused by men making it clear that they hate women and yet still expect a date??
This is just a start. Gals and guys out there: use common sense, don't be creepy, don't pry and have fun! There are a ton of fun dates to take a potential fling on this spring, so enjoy the sunshine and your flirty dates.