Montreal isn't known to be a pet friendly city. Only a handful of establishments actually allow pets, you can't take a dog on the bus unless it's the size of a squirrel and some cab drivers have even refused to pick me up (even after I pre-warned them) because according to them, my "small dog" is actually more of "medium dog."
Since dogs get such a crappy deal here in Montreal, we figured they deserve a little something nice for a change. But when we started looking for cool inventions for your pets, all we found were the following ridiculous gadgets. And so we invite you to take a seat and peruse through our list of the 10 craziest and dumbest inventions for your dog.
1. Dog Translator
Yup, just like that crazy Simpsons episode when Homer's brother tries to invent a translator for babies, someone managed to make a Dog Translator. Though if this was my dog, it would pretty much just say: "Food! Food! Food!" on repeat for eternity. Your dog only wants 4 things: food, sleep, walks and some love. It's not that hard to figure out what they need on your own.
2. Doggie Laptop
If you thought giving an iPad to baby was a dumb idea, we got you beat. This is a laptop for your dog. Once he realizes it isn't edible he probably won't be using it much.
3. Puppy Carrier
Okay fine this isn't exactly an invention, it's just a bag. And it can only be used for one very specific situation. Also it will be useless in a few weeks when the puppies don't fit inside anymore.
But look how cute!
4. Skype With Your Dog
The Skype part isn't that cool but it does come in handy if you want to just check on how your dog's doing while you're gone. What makes this one really cool is the fact that you can deliver treats to your dog remotely. So congratulations, you just bought a $100 treat dispenser.
5. Duck Bill Mussle
Some find this adorable, but I'm terrified just looking at it.
6. Poo Trap
Is anyone really willing to walk their dog with this thing? It seems like more effort to put it on than to just pick some shit up.
7. Doggie Bjorn
Just in case you want to remind your neighbors that you are in fact insane.
8. Doggie Broom
This is a good idea in theory but in reality is your dog cleaning your floor or just spreading shit around? Not to mention he will probably hate you for putting these on him. If you're not sure, get the Dog Translator and find out.
Again, this one is a good idea in theory, until you realize you're just deflecting the water off your dog and directly onto your ankles.
10. Doggie Dryer (seriously?)
I can't imagine a dog staying calm in this thing. And the other models we found look like they take longer to put on than it would take to just dry your dog with a regular hair dryer.