April Fool's Day used to be about putting shaving cream on your sibling's toothbrush and sticking signs (or fish) on your friends' backs. Now, the day is an occasion for companies to try to out-do each other with elaborate April Fool's pranks.
TL;DR Read on for a list of the companies that managed to prank us this year on April Fool's Day.
Some of these "jokes" should really be a reality. For example, Tinder told users that they would institute a "height verification."
Don't lie: you know you want that in your life.
And the BBC announced their #skipthesex button, which would come in SO.CLUTCH.
Honestly, I'm heartbroken that this isn't real.
Not to mention McDonald's invention that should definitely be a reality: a milkshake sauce for fry-dipping.
In what would be adorable news, it was "announced" that puppies would be hired as ballpersons during the next US Open:
BREAKING: The US Open to add puppies to the ballperson team at the 2019 tournament for the first time.
All breeds welcome. pic.twitter.com/Yu5ySEhriF
Another cute pet-themed prank? Wayfair tricked its followers by announcing a wedding registry for dogs.
Introducing Groom'd, a wedding registry for dogs! For the first time, pups can conveniently register for furniture, decor, and more. See all the perks that are leaving every breed in puppy love with Groom’d! #Wayfair https://t.co/t2jfVeptFU pic.twitter.com/e3sW3ydF3Q
Metro UK made a tongue-in-cheek comment about straight white men in the comments section:
Straight white men to be banned from comment sections https://t.co/BGi3aAjGvn
On the other hand, there are news stories out there you wish were fake. Like Elon Musk rapping about Harambe. Or Dr. Phil SHAVING HIS MUSTACHE.
Well... I did it. pic.twitter.com/hCIOW4jHt8
Some government agencies know how to have a good time. The tourism office of Australia tweeted about leopard-print koalas.
It’s a little-known fact that some #koala joeys are born with leopard print fur 🐨
We don’t yet know why only certain joeys are blessed with such incredible fashion sense, but we’re sure little April here is the envy of her friends. #seeaustralia #wildlife #australia pic.twitter.com/FJUDwdRk9E
And the Surrey police told residents that police officers were to be issued with feather dusters as standard equipment.
It's actually so they can clean any CCTV, dash cams, or video doorbells they might see while out and about.
A couple of seconds spent each time we see a camera can make a huge difference when we have to use the footage later to solve a crime! pic.twitter.com/P3EC0Aoagq
Some huge companies joined in on the action. Google Netherlands announced a feature that would allow users to communicate with tulips.
Grown in the Netherlands, Google Tulip communicates with plants https://t.co/oPJXV7S0gd
HelloFresh, a food delivery service, announced their "Unicorn Box."
Popchips announced individually-wrapped chips "ridged for your pleasure":
introducing our new single serve pack – Just the Chip! now you can practice safe snacking on-the-go, anywhere, anyplace, anytime, any position. #justthechip
learn more: https://t.co/BtmvbqqL6B pic.twitter.com/Ur8OL4Fzlb
Shutterstock announced a physical library complete with AI librarians:
Move over @librarycongress! @Shutterstock is opening the world’s largest brick-and-mortar stock library with 250 million images, 14 million reels of film & 20,000 music tracks. Check out the enormous structure: https://t.co/zwo8lW9Fpp #ShutterstockLibrary #ItsShutterstock pic.twitter.com/0fU5BGP7nW
Jagermeister announced their new "Jagerbong," a kit that could turn any empty Jager bottle into a bong.
German engineering reaches a new high… pic.twitter.com/Az0Bf6dcQu
And Spotify added a "discocover weekly" playlist next to your "discover weekly" playlist," consisting entirely of disco covers of songs.
How's your Discocover Weekly today? 🕺
Ah, April 1st. The day where being endlessly cynical, untrusting, paranoid and dead inside finally pays off.