The Most F**ked Up Things Waiters Have Done To Your Food

More ranch dressing please.
The Most F**ked Up Things Waiters Have Done To Your Food

Have you gotten the wrong order at a restaurant but when it's time to send it back you think to yourself: " I really hope they don't spit in my food".

We've all seen it happen in movies, customers are being rude or over-demanding and the cooks or waiters decide to take their revenge by doing horrible things to their food. So I decided to find out if waiters actually did this kind of thing.

At first, I hesitated to write this article because I figure "Ignorance is bliss". But in the end, I'm glad I did because most threads I came across were filled with food workers insisting that you NEVER mess with someone's food no matter how rude they are.

In fact you can get into a lot of trouble for doing something like that. But since the world can be a disgusting place, it was only a matter of time before we found some 'not so nice' food workers.

1. The Dishwasher

"Someone once ran a steak through a dishwasher after the customer sent it back twice. Ironically, the customer was happy with it then."


2. Lactose Intolerance

"My mom has a problem digesting milk and she had someone who gave her whole milk instead of soy. Let's just say she spent a lot of time in the bathroom that day with the fan on."


3. Why Am I So Sleepy?

"I worked at Starbucks and would give people decaf if they were jerks."


4. The Felony


"Not a waiter, rather I'm a cop. Just wanted to mention that messing with someone's food can be really dangerous. You can be arrested for that shit. I went to a call once where a customer had been a dick to a waiter all night, so the waiter tries to be a smart ass and coats the dudes burger in every sauce the place has. Little did he know, the customer was allergic to peanuts contained in one of the sauces. One bite later, customer is in the back of an ambulance. Waiter came clean with me (there was video anyway), and we arrested him for a felony (later pled to a misdemeanor, but still cost him his job and clean record.) Sad thing is, the waiter was really nice, and the customer really was an ass! The waiter had just had enough."

5. Friar Tuck

"My dad always tells this story about working with his buddy in a novelty restaurant in the 80's where all the servers dressed up like Disney characters and took pictures with the customers. My dad's friend worked as a waiter dressed as Friar Tuck. He got sick of his job and devised a plan; because this was before digital cameras, tourists typically had to wait till the end of their vacation to get their film developed. Friar Tuck would take pictures with everyone, but whenever a family was particularly obnoxious, he would offer to take their camera to the kitchen because "all of the chefs were in costume too". He'd snap a few shots of his junk on their food and bring the camera back to them."


6. Rage

"I work at 7/11. If you're a dick, I'm giving you the oldest taquitos on the grill. Feel my rage."


7. Not Too Bad

"I would never would have done anything to someone's food, but I have put them in very "undesirable" situations, such as seating them at a table in a high traffic area, surrounding them with large parties/children, and putting them at that one table that is unusually close to the kitchen where they can hear the cooks and such. Is this necessary? Probably not, but I was only paid minimum wage."


8. The Switch


"The mother was belligerent, rude and demanding. (but her son was being nice) They ordered chicken strips and a quarter pound T-bone steak with mashed potatoes. Waiter wipes a thin but healthy booger on the bottom of the steak scrapes some gunk from the table onto it, spit into the mashed potatoes and mixes it in with a few hairs. He grins to himself as he hands the steak to the mom and the chicken strips to the boy and says "enjoy the meal". Turn out the mother ordered the chicken and the son had the steak, so they switched. Worst part is that afterwards the son left a $24 tip to make up for his mom being rude."

9. The Tea Bagger

"A guy I used to work with tea-bagged a customer's strawberry shake after she made it very clear she wanted a lot of berries in it."


10. More Ranch Dressing Please

"My manager at a restaurant that will remain anonymous. His ex-girlfriend (who cheated on him) came in to order food. She ordered a Chicken Sandwich that has ranch dressing and your usual stuff in it. Well let's just say that the ranch had extra special sauce and the chicken accidentally fell on the floor a few times.

The most disgusting part was when she said to the waitress who didn't know, that "this sandwich tastes a bit funny, I think it needs more ranch." I almost threw up.

Don't judge me, I didn't do it!"


11. The Watch

"This guy was a major dick-bag. He would order ridiculous drinks from the bar and not tip the bartender (and frequently insist that our bartender with 12 years experience made his drink incorrectly), abuse waitstaff and order off the menu. Every time this asshole came in, he ordered snow crab. Anyone not familiar with this delectable treat should know that you eat it with your hands and it's quite messy.

So, every time he would take off his watch before he ate. One night, he took off his watch, forgot about it, and left. I was hosting that night and his table's server came up to me and told me that Mr. Asswipe had left his watch. Conveniently, he also neglected to leave a tip of any kind. I took Mr. Assbag's watch, sold it on eBay for over $500, and gave it to the poor server as his deserved tip."


12. The Run-Down

"Cooks taking the steak that got sent back multiple times, playing soccer with it on the floor, and then putting it back on the plate. Cooks spitting in food. Bartenders not putting alcohol in drinks for asshole customers."


13. Revenge

"I gave them shitty service since I assumed I would get a bad tip anyways. You're a dick to me? Here, have some slow service. Your refills will take longer. I "accidentally" dropped food on someone who made fun of my gay co-worker. I'll walk other people's food before yours, and I'll conveniently forget or not care about what you want/need. I'd rather give other people good service and get a legit tip than deal with your shit every 5 seconds."


14. The Guy Who Never Tips

"He was an older guy and was just a creep and total cockbag. He would order the same thing every time and if it wasn't perfect he would go off. Not a single waitress ever received a tip from him, not matter how kind, helpful, or sweet. But one day he refused to pay. That money came out of my paycheck and that was when I decided to get even. I grabbed a butter knife and started scraping the floor under the sink and got him his fucking margarine. He didn't say a word about it."


15. Mini Pizza

"I worked in a titty bar in the early 90's as a bartender, and the bar manager was super gross. We sold a lot of mini pizzas. One time there was some kind of altercation with a douchy customer. The customer ordered a pizza. As I took it out the manager told me "don't eat any of that bar pie" Later on he told us he jerked off on it."


16. Why My Drink Tastes Watered Down


"I will give you warm beer, less booze in your drink, poor you a bad pint, give you flat soft drinks and champagne. I would never contaminate your order with my wonderful bodily fluids."

17. Ice Ice Baby

"It's a long story, but basically the guy was a dick to me as soon as I went to the table and demanded numerous things all at once. So when I made his drink, I got two cups and scooped ice into one of them then proceeded to put the ice in my mouth, then spit the ice into the other cup. Topped it off with diet coke and gave it to him."


18. The Magic Kingdom

"I worked at Disney world. I made smoothies and ice cream. Overall I'd do several food terrorism things: ice cream cones that would topple over quickly, sodas of almost pure ice."


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