10 Things That 100% Happen To You While Christmas Shopping in Montreal
'Tis the season.
The most wonderful time of the year, right? Well at least until you have to trek out into the "winter" wasteland, battle the crowds, and spend all your hard earned dough on "gifts" for all your friends and family. If you were smart enough, you got it all done earlier in the year. But you weren't, and now find yourself face to face with all the other nutso shoppers in Montreal that, like you, are ready to snap at any moment. You will encountered many challenges along the way, but don't worry -
You get to do it all over again next year.
You briefly feel a little warm on the inside when you see all the pretty lights on McGill college.
Montreal really does know how to dress up the city for Christmas. Even Scrooge himself would melt at the sight of the Christmas lights running down McGill College Avenue.
Then freak out when you realize you have have two days to shop before Christmas.
They say it's the thought that counts, except you've put zero thought in it until now. It's okay though, I'm sure you're not the only one.
You start wishing you were better at crafting stuff because you are actually way too broke to buy anyone anything.
If only you hadn't scorned that vegan girlfriend you once had, who loved knitting stuff, and had those cool corn-flake earrings. She was always making stuff.
Photo cred - LeBROWN James
And debate keeping that perfect gift you found for yourself.
I know my brother specifically asked for these sweet, sweet wireless headphones, but realistically he has crap taste in music, so I should probably keep them.
You find yourself supressing the urge to violently Hulk Smash everything in about 2.5 minutes.
Oh, you stepped on my foot? No worries.... What's that? Your bratty kids are uber obnoxious and won't stop screaming for no apparent reason? I understand.... This line up hasn't moved in over 45 minutes and counting? HULK SMAAASH!!
Sure, you might enjoy the first couple of Christmas tunes you hear...Until you literally lose your mind.
There's only so much I can hear Frosty The Snowman before I slap someone. Poor, poor store clerks.
The paranoia setting in that you've lost a bag along the way.
"Did I have 3, or 4 bags? Did I pick it up when I was sitting before? Did I leave it at the food courts? I hope no one took it. Where's that fucking blue one!?"
Die a little inside because you just might have spent your rent money.
Sure, your whole family have nice gifts now, but it's looking like Kraft Dinner and hot dogs for you tonight bruh.
Photo cred - paxpuig
Does no one else find it at all creepy that a heavy-set bearded stranger is brought children to sit on his knee??
So let me get this straight. Mothers willingly take their small children to sit on the lap of a complete stranger so he can smile at them and ask them if they've ever been to the "North Pole"? And that better be a candy cane in your pocket, Santa.
And when all else fails, end up last-minute panic-shopping at Pharmaprix on Christmas Eve.
"What do you mean you didn't want a 6-pack of Old Spice? I thought everyone loved Old Spice."