Take a look at the many rapper comedians who (whether intentionally or unintentionally) have managed to garner a few chuckles amidst their gangster lyrics. For the second installment of their editorial series in partnership with MTL Blog, Hip Hop Karaoke Montreal reveals some of Hip Hop's most laugh-worthy lines. Be sure to check out Hip Hop Karaoke Montreal's next event on Saturday July 12th at Le Belmont and go to hhkmtl.com for more info!
"What the world is in that bag, what you got in that bag?
A couple of cans of whoopass"
And just when ya thought there was something enormous in that bag...BOOM Luda gets us all with an extreme element of surprise.
(Hint: it's an ass-whooping).
50 Cent, 21 Questions
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake"
You heard the man! The suave, hopeless romantic inside Curtis Jackson has just compared his love for his woman to an overweight child's psychosomatic relationship with food. Bravo, Fitty.
Lauryn Hill, Doo Wop
"Let's stop pretend, the ones that pack pistols by they waist men,
Cristal by the case men, still in they mother's basement"
In this passage, Lauryn is calling out a bunch of douchey, bottle-poppin' club rats pretending to be ballin even though they probably still live in their mom's basement and just front like they have dough.
Eminem, Rain Man
"I grabbed the last can of chicken tuna out the trash can
And zoom I, headed straight back to the Neverland Ranch
With a peanut butter jelly chicken tuna sandwich''
Remember that time Jessica Simpson asked if "Chicken By the Sea" tuna was chicken? Yah, so does Eminem. A little fun-poking at the great Michael Jackson ties this whole nonsensical rhyme all together.
Lil Wayne, Comfortable
"I do confess to the murder scene, 'cause under them sheets I am a mess"
Remember those dirty Law & Order murder investigation scenes where the forensics team shines a black light to spot out the murderer's semen spots? In this case, it's Weezy and the only thing he's murdering is...well, you get the point
Kanye West, Last Call
"Nice as Bun-B when I met him at the Source Awards
Girl he had with him - ass coulda won the horse awards"
Bun B's date to the Source Awards had a nice big ol' booty, worthy of a fictitious "horse" award and apparently also a shout out in Kanye's Last Call. Dzamn girl.
Redman, Pick It Up
"You remind me of school on a Sunday, No class"
This witty double-entendre makes it quite clear that the target of this song, much like school on a Sunday, is class-less. Ba-zing!
Lil Kim, Queen Bitch
"Got bafoons eatin' ma pussy while I watch cartoons"
Though we're sure Lil Kim does like her Loony Tunes with a side of cunnilingus, she's actually just reaffirming her power and title as the rap game's Queen Bitch.
Kendrick, The Recipe
"And yeah my type I like them brown, just like my drink, the fuck you think"
Kendrick apparently likes women of color (brown, to be specific), much like the swimming pools full of liquor into which he dives (see what we did there?)
"I took her for sushi she wanted to fuck so we took it to go told em don't even plate it"
In a nutshell, he took her for some sush but she wanted the D, so they peaced out and asked for it in a Styrofoam to-go box.(Probably got a lil mini plastic container of extra ginger on the side too, cuz Drake is extra sensitive to the ladies' needs)
"We wanted to make Montrealers proud and provide them with content that would make them laugh and a place where they can share the funny things they hear," they told us.
The creators have chosen to remain anonymous, but still answered all of our questions.
Answers have been edited and condensed for clarity.
How did you decide to start this page?
We're a small group of friends who religiously send each other memes and funny stuff we see on Instagram.
We've always loved content from pages like @overheardla and @overheardnewyork and although these pages are hilarious, they aren't always relatable to someone living in Montreal. Montreal is unique to other cities in so many ways and has some pretty funny people.
We looked around and were surprised to see that there weren't really any similar pages geared towards quotes heard from Montrealers. There are a few accounts out there but nothing with consistent content. We figured we'd give it a shot and make our own page.
How often do people submit quotes to you? What are some of your favourites you've heard?
It really depends, some days we'll receive none but other days we'll get a few.
In most cases, we'll get something at least once a week. We also understand that not everyone's humour is the same so even though we may not find something the funniest thing ever, we'll still do our best to post it.
In terms of our favourites, it's hard to say, as many quotes have had an impact on our page and others really had us laughing out loud. Some that really stand out to us are the ones from first dates and red flags in dating — it's hilarious to read about the things that go on in this city.
Everybody can relate to having experienced a bad/questionable first date and it creates a sense of community to know that so many of us are in the same boat.
No one should ever hesitate to send us something and we take all submissions into consideration!
Why do you think so many people connect to your page?
The things we post are funny because they are relatable. It's wholesome to know that there are strangers, living in the same city as you, who are experiencing things you have also experienced.
It's like a little community bound by laughter and awkward situations. It's just very human and interactive.
This article's cover photo was used for illustrative purposes only.
McKinnon pulled out cigarettes during the skit, so as to imply a stereotype about Montrealers and smoking that doesn't exist.
The trope is more suited to mimicking Parisians from France, who are known for their smoking fetish. (If they wanted to point out Montrealers' love of smoking, they should have used our legal weed instead.)
If Eman El-Husseini and Jess Salomon look familiar, you might have caught their comedy special on Crave: The El-Solomons: Marriage of Convenience. Or perhaps you recognize them from @theelsalomons, an Instagram account featuring illustrated vignettes from their lives as Jewish-Palestinian wives, comedians and moms to puppy Esther Honey.
Maybe you saw them perform at the Royalmount this summer or heard about their new BBC podcast Comedians Vs The News, in which they "take on the headlines and find the funny in the stories the world is talking about."
Regardless of what these two are doing — and, clearly, it's a lot — they're experts at taking whatever life throws at them and finding the funny in it.
And since the pair met in Montreal where Salomon grew up, we can still consider them 'our own' even though they're currently based in New York, right?
The El-Salomons recently spent two months in a chalet near Chertsey, Quebec riding out the pandemic, and they gave us their top three tips for keeping your spirits up in confinement.
"I barely ate and I'm driving in snow and I have a wife that's stressing me for eight hours. So we got to the place that we rented and I passed out, sleeping like a baby," El-Husseini told MTL Blog, recounting the early days of quarantine.
"But then I wake up to my wife crying at two o'clock in the morning writing this huge status update about how sad she is."
Salomon explained that she doesn't typically write long, emotional statuses in the middle of the night, but it was "not the time to telephone anybody." Plus, El-Husseini was asleep.
"It does feel like a place where you can kind of unload," Salomon said. "People were so supportive."
The couple said the pandemic is also a good time to use social media to catch up with friends.
And though El-Husseini poked fun at Salomon, turns out the joke's on her.
"Jess left all of her worries on her Facebook," El-Husseini said. "Then she passes out, and now I can't fall asleep."
Step up your food game
El-Husseini and Salomon both agreed food is a point of contention in their relationship. Salomon's the type to pack boiled eggs for the road and El-Husseini's the type to scout out roadside dives à la Guy Fieri.
But the two have been having fun in the kitchen lately.
"When COVID came around I really had to step up my game with cooking almost defensively so she wouldn't go to a restaurant," said Salomon.
"That's how we managed to keep our relationship together. Me turning into a five-star, James Beard award-winning chef."
Since they couldn't leave the chalet during their two-week quarantine when arriving in Quebec, they indulged in regional specialties — each ordering May Wests, and Ah Caramels, which they didn't realize came by the box-full.
"We weren't sad about [it]," said Salomon.
"And Eman bought a home poutine making [kit] — the gravy from St. Hubert and the fries and the cheese curds."
Change-up the content you consume
"The first twenty headlines [in U.S. publications] are Trump, Trump, Trump," said El-Husseini.
"Just taking a breather away from that [can help]. 'What's happening in Ethiopia? What's happening in Argentina? Oh, a politician kissed his wife's breasts during a zoom meeting?' You're just like, 'This is great!'"
If you're not listening to their BBC podcast, they recommend escaping with light, "junky" shows like Selling Sunset, The Circle and Family Feud.
And if you do watch the news? Adopt a comedian's mentality.
"Our brain is sort of trained to find the funny," Salomon explained.
"You just hope for moments like the fly landing on Mike Pence's head. That was the happiest people have been in a long time as a group."