Twitter Is Ripping Apart This Ridiculous Tinder Bro's Disgusting "Dating Rules"
A Tweet out of the U.K. went viral this week after showing off the worst that Tinder has to offer. Twitter user Trash Queen (@zxox32) stumbled upon "Kirk" while swiping on Tinder and found out that modern dating isn't all fun and games. This dude listed his criteria for dating him and that's not even the worst part of his Tinder profile.
Kirk's profile picture should tell you all you need to know about him. He's clearly into fitness and not taking his pants all the way. He may or may not work at a barbershop or microbrewery judging by his haircut, beard, and terrible tattoos. Honestly though, who cares what he does.
If his profile picture doesn't make you swoon, his criteria for dating him might just do it. His main selling points are his apparent racism, his German shepherd dog, and the fact that he only goes to the bathroom to take shirtless selfies. Ladies, your Prince Charming awaits.
TL;DR A U.K. man is taking serious heat after his disgusting Tinder profile has gone viral on Twitter. If this profile doesn't put you off the app, I don't know what will.
I thought I’d give Tinder a go but honestly, it’s fully put me off dating. https://t.co/24Q1334yx2— Trash Queen ✨ (@Trash Queen ✨) 1554401527.0
Kirk has three rules that you must follow to get with him. Number one, have no children. He deserves all your attention. Two, don't date or think about black men. Interesting. Three, make your own money. At least he's not a gold digger!
Oddly enough, Kirk seems to have forgotten how pants work. I get you wanna show off how you don't skip leg day my dude, but why do you look like you just got off the toilet? Oh wait, I forgot. Kirk "don't take shit". Maybe he was trying to and got distracted, poor soul.
Now, I can make easy jokes about how Kirk's insecurities stem from having a small penis, but his "bulge" speaks for itself. It's less of a bulge and more of a bunch-up, innit?
Twitter went absolutely nuclear after Trash Queen's post. To avoid sounding biased (I clearly am not, duh) I'll let Twitter bring the comedy.
A lot of Twitter users took this opportunity to swear off dating, much like Trash Queen rightfully does.
@zxox32 I’m going to screen shot this for when my relatives ask me why I’m still single— This is now a vaccine stan account (@This is now a vaccine stan account) 1554574316.0
@zxox32 Thank goodness I've never been on a dating site.— Cali 🦒🎮 (@Cali 🦒🎮) 1554852680.0
Others are concerned about his choice of pants.
Can we legally call these pants? How do they say "I'm a douche" in England?
@zxox32 It's the trousers round the plonker's ankles, that is the piece de resistance. Who could resist? Any woman… https://t.co/WiVcSL6R2V— E K D (@E K D) 1554674181.0
We've found out how to say "douche" in England! Plonker. I love it!
As a dude, I feel bad that dudes like this still exist in 2019. I feel even worse for the people who have to swipe through an endless stream of plonkers to find that special someone.
Maybe it's time we delete these apps and try some real-life interaction? I mean, it wouldn't be so easy to filter out these people though, but three cheers for reality? Ugh, modern dating is hard. Almost as complicated as Kirk's award-winning personality.
Good luck out there, single people. We have some hope? *sad face*