A person's alcohol of choice gives an intimate window into their personality. Some may say that beer drinkers are one demographic, but knowledgeable beer lovers will tell you otherwise. Beer has so many different varieties, with different levels of alcohol, heaviness, varying flavours and colours, and to loop all beer drinkers into one category is unfair. Beer drinkers are as diverse as the many types of beer on tap at a bar. Stout drinkers are a far cry away from anyone drinking a light lager, while fruit beer lovers are nothing like either. The next time you're out with some friends at a bar, or on a date, take note of what beer they order, and look to this list to find out what a person's beer says about their personality.
Otherwise known as North American Lager, light lager is a pale reflection of its former self. Once a solid German beer, nowadays, the light lager is just a light-beer alternative to heavier and better options. Light lager drinkers are much the same. Sipping on their Coors Light, light lager drinkers look back to the glory days of when they could drink whatever/whenever they wanted. Alternatively, you just are blissfully ignorant about how better beer can be, and you've yet to realize your full potential. That, or you're just a fucking hipster who drinks Pabst.
Pilsner is the original lager. The Pilsner brewing method has changed little in the last two hundred years, and was originally made in caves back in the day. Entrenched in tradition, the Pilsner-drinker is set in his/her ways, as you stick to what works. Just like your cunning cave-brewing ancestors, you are incredibly efficient and driven. You get shit done, and fast, but your intense focus often leaves you phasing out other options, or people.
India Pale Ale
Change and adventure characterize India Pale Ale and the IPA drinker. Originally brewed to keep sailors drunk on the voyage from England to India, IPA is the beer for those who are always looking forward. The hoppy-ness of IPA translates into a fairly flighty personality in IPA drinkers. Some may find your willingness to do different things at a whim exciting, others may just see it as flaky.
Often infused with sweeter ingredients (caramel, chocolate, honey), Brown ale is rounded out by its natural malty flavour and darker colour. Brown Ale drinkers are much the same, even-tempered but have the capacity to lean towards extremes. Some days you may be a mellow North American brown ale, and others you may be a fun loving honey brown. You're strongly effected by your environment and friends, but only on the surface, as your core personality remains fairly constant.
Don't fuck with stout drinkers. While they can seem harmless, much like the delicious foam that tops stout beers, this is not the case. Dark, tough, and hardened like the beer they drink, stout-drinkers will mess you up if you get underneath their fun and foamy surface layer. This goes double for oatmeal stout lovers, who can easily be thought of as a pushover until you piss them off. Keep stout drinkers happy with you, as they're invaluable in a bar fight.
Nothing pours smoother than a cream ale, and the cream ale drinker goes with the flow in much the same way. You give zero fucks about the calories you're consuming and are rarely driven to emotional extremes. You may come across as aloof, or even be seen as a space case, but its just your natural tendency to be very mellow. You can, however, be surprisingly sweet, when the moment arises.
Always looking out for the latest trend, those who enjoy fruit beers will change their entire look on a whim. Strongly effected by changes in weather/environment, you might self-diagnose yourself with Seasonal Affective Disorder. You really just enjoy variety, and the sweet offerings the different times of the year provides. Depending on the moment you can be centered and graceful like a pumpkin beer, or high energy-fun like an apricot ale.
Being a blonde beer drinker doesn't make you stupid, that's just for hair colour (kidding). In fact, blonde drinkers are far from ditsy or over the top, and tend to be as pale in personality as blonde beer is in colour. You're not boring, per se, you just don't have the same magnetic qualities as more in-your-face beer drinkers. Just like you would jazz up a blonde beer with a slice of orange, blonde beer drinkers often compensate by having eccentric styles or interests, so don't be surprised when you see the goth at the bar sipping on some blonde.
Rarely seen in many brewer's lineups, red ale (known as Rousse in Quebec, thanks to Boreale) is under appreciated by traditional beer cultures. Only two notable varieties exist in Europe, but rousse is fairly well known around these parts. An individualist til the end, rouse drinkers can be as fiery as the red ale they drink. More than a little abrasive at times, the rousse-person can go too far, and may not even know it. In truth, that's usually because they've already pounded a few back.
Did your beer profile match you perfectly, or was it entirely off? Got a favourite beer we didn't include? Let us know in the comments below.