Why I Hate Going For Coffee On A First Date

My brutally honest opinion.
Why I Hate Going For Coffee On A First Date

Now that the sun is up later and the temperatures are warming up, Montrealers are venturing out into the streets, going for drinks, coffee and dinner in increasing numbers. Did anyone mention terrasses?

With the end of winter comes the end of cuffing season. Now that the sun is out and we are shedding both our winter layers and our winter fluff, it's time to get back into the dating game.

For those of you who might be a little rusty after a long winter of hibernation, I wanted to send out a PSA: don't go on a coffee date for a first date.

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TL;DR A coffee date is the worst first date for SO MANY reasons. Why? Well, read on and you'll see.

What prompted this rant was an article from the Tinder blog that talks about how ditching the alcohol on a first date is a "clutch" move. Now, I don't disagree with that. Alcohol is a social lubricant and it makes people get along better than they might normally get along.

What struck me is that the first encounter post-drinking was at a coffee shop, and in my humble opinion, there is no worst first date than a coffee date. So, whether you're getting back into the online dating game or asking a friend out, AVOID COFFEE DATES.

There are many, many reasons behind why I think coffee dates are such a bad call. The first reason is that coffee dates are never at a convenient time. Meeting up before work means that my date's first impression of me will be the grumpy not-a-morning-person-troll that I am before 10 a.m.

On the other hand, no one wants to get caffeinated in the evening. And if you decide to meet up on the weekend it's going to inconveniently cut into your whole day, and you're going to have to decide between brunch with your friends or coffee with a random.

The other reason coffee dates suck is because of the total lack of privacy. Coffee shops usually play quiet, low-key music that you can easily talk over. This is great for when you want to study in peace, or when you are catching up with an old friend, but it SUCKS when it comes to first dates.

We have all overheard a painfully awkward first date when sitting in a coffee shop, and we have all judged them. The hushed atmosphere means that everyone can, and does, eavesdrop. The dates are aware of this, and so are extra awkward in conversation in coffee shops because they are aware that they are speaking to more than just their date.

@matchembedded via  

Not to mention that coffee dates are just as unimaginative as a bar meetup, but with the added drag of being super boring. If you're stuck for ideas and you're wondering what to do on your next first date, here are a few ideas:

  • Get coffee to-go and take a walk. At least the changing scenery will give you something to talk about.
  • Grab a beer at a board games bar (loser buys the next round).
  • Visit a museum (for the same reasons as the walking date).
  • Walk through one of the many outdoor festivals downtown.
  • Adopt a hermit crab together.
  • Go see an astrologist and have them do a compatibility chart.
  • Dumpster-dive.

Next time we'll talk about why movie dates are an equally terrible choice for a first date.

See you then!

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