Top (Or Bottom) 69 Locations To Have Sex In Montreal This Summer

At the risk of sounding super slutty (slutever, bring it slut-shamers), summer is the season of sex. Y'all know it's true. If you don't happen to be in a relationship, summertime is when you get out in the world, meet people, and get busy.

That's just what warm weather and an overabundance of social events does to Montrealers. Don't fight it, it's just plain truth.

The thing is, while all that sex may be great, your bedroom can become a boring venue after a while. So instead, truly capitalize on the season of love and get a little busy at one (or all) of these 69 unusual places to have sex in Montreal this summer.

1. On the public lawn chairs at Parc La Fontaine

2. In the backseat of a muscle car on a Wednesday night at the Orange Julep.

3. Somewhere in the VIP tent at Osheaga.

4. Right after the Rave Run at Parc Jean-Drapeau.

5. The CultMTL office (or lack thereof).

6. On the banks of the Lachine Canal.

7. In a darkened movie theatre during Fantasia Fest.

8. At the Monkland Village Block Party

9. Inside of one of the city's many abandoned buildings if your into the whole "Urbex" thing.

10. At Comiccon, with a cosplayer (preferably Wonder Woman).

11. In your bed, at 11am on Saint Jean, because you have the day off and deserve it.

12. Backstage at a Fringe Fest performance.

13. After drinking 20 different kinds of beer at one of Montreal's booze fueled summer festivals.

14. On a pedal boat on the Bonsecours Basin.

15. Right by a live street art creation during MURAL Fest.

16. With a basket of Dinette Triple Crown fried chicken at Little Italy Park.

17. In the bushes of Mont-Royal, just like folks did in the 50s.

18. Behind one of the food trucks at First Fridays.

19. Under the glowing canopy at Jardin Gamelin.

20. While taking an Uber to the bar (you only have so much time left!)

21. While the Carifiesta parade goes by the street.

22. In-between dance sessions at Piknic Electronik.

23. On a random external staircase, or even your own.

24. At Otakuthon, with a cosplayer (bonus points if its Cloud Strife).

25. Somewhere in the Old Port's Canada Day celebration, because patriotism.

26. In the McGill library, since no students will be around to see you.

27. At one of Place de Spectacles free music festivals, where the live bands will drown out your moans.

28. While a little high at Tams. Or a lot high, slutever.

29. Inside of a tourist's Airbnb.

30. Along the new 21km bike path at Jean-Drapeau

31. In a dark corner at MUTEK

32. Under the pink balls at the Village during Aire Libres (plus there are no cars!)

33. During a bathroom break during a comedy show.

34. Behind the TD Music stage during Pride

35. Your parent's or roommate's bedroom when they're off for summer vacation

36. Inside of a model car during Grand Prix (bonus if with a Grand Prix model)

37. At Laurier park, after a drunken picnic.

38. In line at Kem Coba (trust me, you'll have time to finish and everything).

39. Right on Le Grande Terrasse Rouge on Saint Denis.

40. Riding in the backseat of a caleche in Old Montreal.

41. Looking over the entire city on a rooftop terrasse.

42. Or on a regular terrasse, just make sure you have a pitcher on-hand for breaks.

43. Amid all the beautiful flowers and plants at the Botanical Gardens.

44. Beneath the cross on Mount Royal #religiousidolsbedamned

45. And all around the glowing insects during firefly mating season on Mount Royal.

46. Between Marie-Anne and Duluth on Saint Denis, because the construction will definitely shield you.

47. Inside of a houseboat parked in the Old Port.

48. While riding the Orange Line in a fancy new AZUR train.

49. On the bean bags at the Planetarium.

50. At the Anarchist Bookfair. Your sex-smells will definitely be masked by the attendees. Definitely.

51. Get cultural and bone in a musuem during Musuem Day.

52. Listening to a free concert at JazzFest.

53. Do it by another live street art creation during Under Pressure.

54. Enjoy some real Italian sausage at Italian Week, if you catch my drift. Even better if it's in the backseat of a model car.

55. Have a real TBT and do the dirty at Pointe-à-Callière’s 18th Century Public Market

56. While watching PK Subban and Snoop Dogg play basketball.

57. On one of the Quais in the Old Port, your pick.

58. In the changing room of a friperie in the Plateau.

59. Get action while seeing a production of Shakespeare in the Park.

60. A hidden nook inside of the Underground City.

61. At the Mount Royal Cemetery on a warm night.

62. On the grass in front of the Canadian Centre for Architecture

63. Right by the water in Westmount Park.

64. By the water of Millennium Park in Dorval.

65. Hidden by racks of clothes during the Saint Laurent street sale.

66. Or the Mount Royal street sale.

67. In the Riopelle fountain/La Joute

68. Get some sand in awkward places at the Clocktower beach.

69. Behind a produce stand at Jean Talon market.

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