But there is one time of year when I will NOT give up the fudge. And that's fall.
Saying goodbye to summer. Bracing for the cold-weather blues. The clocks changing. Relearning how to walk like a penguin so I don't wipe out on the ice. I need something to get me through, man.
The problem is, when the craving hits, I can never decide what to buy. I'm pretty sure the guy at my local convenience store is tired of watching me stare at the same shelf, biting my nails over hazelnut or almond. So I decided it was time to find a chocolate bar actually worth committing to — ideally one I'd tell myself would last a few days before inevitably finishing it at 2 a.m. And preferably one that wouldn't punish my wallet, either.
That left me with six bars and one mission: finding the best chocolate for my money.
I picked up my contenders at Walmart, Metro and Pharmaprix. To keep things fair, I stuck to plain milk chocolate, so no brand got bonus points for fancy flavours or fillings.
Then I tasted every bar blindfolded while someone else recorded my reactions. I didn't find out which brand was which until the tasting was over.
Here's how they stacked up.
Selection (Metro)
Selection and I did not get off to a good start.
Selection and I did not get off to a good start. My tasting notes were essentially different versions of "I don't like this."
The first surprise was the texture. It had an unexpected crunch — something I'd associate with a bar containing almonds, not plain milk chocolate. I kept waiting for it to soften and melt, but instead, it made me work for every bite.
The flavour didn't help. I couldn't quite put my finger on what I was tasting, but I knew I wasn't enjoying it. For something as straightforward as milk chocolate, it left me with a surprising number of questions and very little interest in another bite.
Rating: 4/10
Price: $3.49 (100 grams)
Counteroffer: Someone pays me $3.49 to eat it again
No name (Pharmaprix)
No name made me work surprisingly hard to find the chocolate flavour.
I've been following no name for a while, and I honestly enjoy the concept. It's simple and straight to the point. Except its chocolate wasn't.
No name made me work surprisingly hard to find the chocolate flavour, which felt a little unreasonable considering I was already halfway through the bar. At first, it tasted artificial, and my patience was running out.
Once the flavour settled in, though, I actually started to enjoy it. We got there eventually. I just hadn't realized my snack would involve a treasure hunt.
This one definitely improved as I went, but I'd still appreciate a chocolate bar that gets to the chocolate a little faster.
Rating: 5/10
Price: $2.79 (100 grams)
Counteroffer: $2.50, and that's mostly for the fun packaging
Great Value (Walmart)
Great Value was off to a great start!
Great Value started off quietly, as most great things do. The flavour was light at first, but then the stars took over my sky. It was creamy, the sweetness felt balanced, and I could actually enjoy it without feeling like the sugar had taken over.
And I wanted another bite. Voluntarily. Nobody needed to pay me this time.
This one left me pleasantly optimistic about my search for a go-to chocolate bar. And, at $1.97, it felt like a steal. Great Value, indeed.
Rating: 7.5/10
Price: $1.97 (100 grams)
Counteroffer: No counteroffer from my end. But considering how often I'll be buying this bar, I should probably ask for a bulk discount.
CadburyÂ
Cadbury is a classic brand, and its Dairy Milk bar is among my go-tos.
Cadbury Dairy Milk is the bar I'd reach for if it were the only option. If someone handed me one on a gloomy day, I'd still appreciate the gesture. I'd thank them. I'd eat it. Maybe half the bar if I were feeling particularly cynical.
My notes went from "this one has potential" to "a bit soapy," which is a pretty dramatic fall from grace for one piece of milk chocolate. It was also quite thick and a little too sweet for my taste.
I had mixed feelings. It was perfectly edible and had its moments, but it wasn't inspiring the kind of commitment I was looking for.
What I'm saying is, it's a safe option. It doesn't add much thrill to your life or make you feel the wind in your hair. You eat it, enjoy it well enough, and carry on with your day.
Rating: 6.5/10
Price: $2.62 (90 grams)
Counteroffer: For $2.62, I'll take it.
Lindt
It's fair to say that Lindt is worth the extra spend.
There goes the wind in my hair.
The chocolate flavour came through immediately — rich, eager and honestly, exquisite. I suspected Lindt almost right away. This is the kind of chocolate that would have me walking to the depanneur at 9 p.m. in sweatpants and a big puffy winter jacket.
The aftertaste was even better. I found myself searching my teeth for any little bit I might have missed, which wasn't my most dignified moment, but I wasn't ready for it to be over.
My plan to make a chocolate bar last several days was starting to sound like an outright lie.
Rating: 10/10
Price: $4.98 (100 grams)
Counteroffer: If the entry fee to chocolate heaven is $4.98, I'm in.
MrBeast's Feastables
Mr Beast's chocolate was a disappointment.
I enjoy MrBeast's videos as much as the next person. Unfortunately, his chocolate didn't deliver quite the same excitement. All that extravagance on screen, and barely a reaction from my taste buds.
Feastables briefly had me wondering whether I had a cold. I felt like I'd been chewing forever, waiting for some kind of flavour to show up. The texture was dense, and what little I could taste came across as artificial. It reminded me of generic Halloween chocolate — the kind you eat while digging through the bag for something better.
I kept giving it another chance, but there just wasn't much happening. I'd included Feastables to find out what all the hype was about. By the end, I was still wondering. Even the coolest packaging in the world couldn't make up for chocolate that tasted like cardboard.
For me, this was the clear loser. In fact, it made me want to go back and give every other bar an extra point for effort. At least it felt like they tried.
Rating: 1/10
Price: $2.62 (100 grams)
Counteroffer: Make finishing this bar a MrBeast challenge. I'll need to know the prize money before I commit.
My verdict
Lindt was the clear winner for me — no question!
So, does paying more actually get you better chocolate? In this case, yes — but not always by much.
Lindt was the clear winner for me. It had the richest flavour, the best texture and was the only bar I rated a perfect 10/10, so I'd happily pay the extra few dollars for it again.
But Great Value was the biggest surprise of the test. At just $1.97, it came surprisingly close and easily earned its place as my budget pick.
At the other end of the ranking, Feastables proved that hype — and a recognizable name — doesn't necessarily translate to better chocolate. It was my lowest-rated bar by far and the one I'd be least likely to buy again.
So if I'm treating myself, I'm choosing Lindt. If I'm watching my wallet, I'm heading straight for Great Value.
Safe to say, I enjoyed this challenge — for the most part. For now, though, I'm taking a short break from chocolate and adding a few extra walks to my week, preferably along a route that doesn't pass the depanneur.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
The Peanuts & Starbucks collection launches Sept. 15 and will be available while supplies last in participating Starbucks coffeehouses across CanadaStarbucks | Handout
The Peanuts & Starbucks collection launches Sept. 15 and will be available while supplies last in participating Starbucks coffeehouses across CanadaStarbucks | Handout
The Peanuts & Starbucks collection launches Sept. 15 and will be available while supplies last in participating Starbucks coffeehouses across CanadaStarbucks | Handout
The Peanuts & Starbucks collection launches Sept. 15 and will be available while supplies last in participating Starbucks coffeehouses across CanadaStarbucks | Handout
Burritos and bowls are 2-for-1 on August 14 at MUCHO Burrito.Courtesy of 