The STM's Snarky Mask Horoscopes Are So Accurate We Feel Attacked

Montreal's transit company is on a salty streak! In its effort to continue promoting the use of masks, the STM released mask-themed horoscopes for everyone on Thursday... and it really didn't hold back.
The STM is going in when it comes to its ads for mask-wearing. In August, it released a snarky video showing how NOT to wear a mask on its network.
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The tongue-in-cheek horoscopes don't exactly translate well and some of the humour is lost, but here's a rough English version.
Aries: "A mask isn't going to stop me from charging for it!"
Taurus: "I have 24 others just as cool in my collection!"
Gemini: "It's funny, huh? I made it myself!"
Cancer: "I can get by even more unnoticed. It's perfect!"
Leo: "My mask is prettier than yours!"
Virgo: No translation possible. Just watch this video....
Libra: "It took me two hours to choose this one!"
Scorpio: "No one can see me make faces with this thing!"
Sagittarius: "I'm a masked hero who's gonna punch out the virus!"
Capricorn: "For someone so perfect, it suits me perfectly!"
Aquarius: "I am anti-virus and pro-mask, does it show?"
Pisces: "I feel like a fish in the water!"
Let's hope this turns into a weekly series.