What your Montreal neighbourhood says about you, according to a local

Le Plateau-Mont-Royal

If you live in the Plateau, I assume that you moved to Montreal from elsewhere, and you came here for a specific reason. You're either a McGill student, an aspiring artist, or a European expat. And you want to get as much out of your time in the city as possible.

You probably live in an old apartment up a precariously narrow flight of stairs with two roommates and one cat. The three of you have decorated it with fairy lights, dozens of plants, and furniture you dragged in from the curb on garbage day. Somehow, it looks infinitely better than any of the professionally furnished condos down your street.

You're almost definitely artistically inclined (even if you're a STEM major), 4/20-friendly, and if you're not queer yourself, you're definitely an ally. Oh, and you describe your style as "thrift chic".

All this to say, we would probably get along great.

Westmount

There are two distinct sides of Westmount: above Sherbrooke (literally on the West of the mountain) and below Sherbrooke.

If your address is above Sherbrooke, you definitely still live at home with your parents – both because you're comfortable there and because you're lowkey freaked out by the quality of the apartments in your budget.

You grew up going to private school, and if you're a girl, you absolutely took at least two years of ballet as a kid. Your manners are impeccable, and you're very generous with your time.

You'd describe yourself as "privileged" rather than "spoiled," which is mostly true, but you also probably have no clue how much your friends are paying for groceries.

If you're below Sherbrooke, you work in Westmount in a white-collar job or one in sales, and you really love being able to walk to work. You're an early bird, and you're much more focused on your career right now than on any other aspect of your life.

Either way, you know that anyone who says Fairmont Bagels are better than St-Viateur Bagels is out of their mind.

Ville-Marie (downtown core)

If you're in Ville-Marie in the downtown core, you either have a next-level talent for finding cheap sublets, or you're stressed about making the mortgage payments on your beautiful condo.

Either way, you're ambitious, hard-working, and have a very practical attitude towards your goals. You're either studying at Concordia or working your way up one corporate ladder or another, and when you get dressed in the morning, you value function and appropriateness over all else.

You've been in a long-term relationship with your partner for as long as anyone can remember, and you're the drama-free couple. If I invite you out, you'll only come if your partner can come too – but I'm not even annoyed, because your partner is lovely and will probably be the responsible one all night.

Also, let's be real: you're in not-insignificant credit card debt.

South Central

My first assumption is that you're LGBTQIA+. And if you're straight, at least three of your roommates are queer. You're so fluent in both French and English that it's hard to tell which is your native language.

You wear your politics on your sleeve (or on patches on your tote bag), and those politics are somewhere in the realm of anarcho-communism. There's a high chance you work in a co-op or are an active member of an advocacy group. And there's definitely drama with at least one colleague due to their troubling stance on the police presence in the neighbourhood.

Your fashion sense is distinctly your own and rad as hell. You literally couldn't pull a boring fit if you tried. You always know about the best events before anyone else. And when things hit the fan, you're the first person your friends go to for help.

While you love your neighbourhood and are committed to being part of its improved community care, you're privately coming to terms with the fact that you'll probably move to another borough in a few years.

Chinatown

You're casually the coolest person in the city without even trying. While The Village and the Plateau are very outwardly expressive, folks who live in Chinatown are very low-key but can't help but radiate an aura of cool.

You speak Mandarin, either because it's what you spoke at home growing up, or because you've absorbed a ton of daily phrases through osmosis. If you don't work in a downtown office, you're probably working in The Galleries of the Palace.

You walk more slowly in public than the flow of foot traffic, but somehow nobody gets annoyed at you for it. Though you've heard all of the sketchy stories, you've personally never had an issue in Places-d'Armes metro.

Unsurprisingly, you're very particular about your dim sum and know that only a sucker pays more than $10 for their noodles.

Verdun

If you live in Verdun, I assume you're specifically a Millennial (or you rent a room from Millennials). You're past your party phase and are happy to live in a more residential area. But you're still bohemian enough that moving to Laval never even crossed your mind.

You love how the historic tenements and factories in your neighbourhood have been repurposed and think there should be more done to preserve the architectural integrity of the neighbourhood.

Your parents are worried that you live in a rough part of town, without realizing that this is the safest apartment you've ever rented. You're far from rich, but you're financially stable, and you're happy to live within your means.

You've been engaged to your partner for at least a year, own at least one unconventional pet, and smoke weed on your balcony at least three nights per week. You're stressed about the immediate future but optimistic that things will shake out well in the end.