While someone obviously wrote that line, we have no clue who it was and Deborah Vance is a fictional character. This begs the question: What does Jean Smart, who plays her, actually think of our fine city? What experiences have 'stars' had here that we don't know about? What are famous people's hot takes about Montreal?
Thanks to several public celebrity mentions of Montreal on TV, podcasts, social media and in interviews, we actually have some of those answers for you right here — as well as the video footage that shows them spilling the tea while they speak their minds and reveal secret stories about the place we call home.
Jenny Slate
@primevideocaWhat happens at The Hardrock Cafe Montreal, stays at The Hardrock Cafe Montreal 💩 #JennySlate #JennySlateSeasonedProfessional
Place Of Mention: Jenny Slate's Seasoned Professional comedy special on Prime Video
Date Of Mention: Released February 22, 2024
The Story: In her latest comedy special, Jenny Slate tells the story of being on a 7th grade orchestra trip in Montreal and getting taken to the Hard Rock Cafe while lactose intolerant. This incident would have happened in 2009 or earlier because that's when the Hard Rock Cafe Montreal permanently closed.
"We got taken to the Hard Rock Cafe Montreal. So, this kid is like, 'OK so we'll do double cheese pizza. Uh, we're gonna do mozzarella sticks for the table — you guys want mozza sticks? OK, cool.' You know, you're supposed to take one to two Lactaid pills with every dairy item. And in my case, I took zero with a million. I was super f*cking pumped. I was feasting at the king's table. I'm like throwing down these mozzarella sticks like I'm a walrus with her mackerel. Like fracking the bottom of my milkshake, being like 'Get it all!' I got up from this table and I could hear my sphincter yelling, 'We can't hold it,'" Slate says.
She goes on to recount what she describes as "one of the worst things that's ever occured": her running down copious stairs needed to get out of the restaurant (classic Montreal) while losing "a little bit of weight on every stair."
Big Reveal: Montreal's Hard Rock Cafe was located at 1458, rue Crescent. While businesses in the building come and go — from Dragon & Dame to ATIPIK PUB — know that if you've ever walked up or down those front stairs, you may have walked in the remnants of Jenny Slate's "lost weight."
As the clip's title reads, "What happens at The Hardrock Cafe Montreal, stays at The Hardrock Cafe Montreal."
Watch the full special on Prime Video
Joel McHale
Place Of Mention: Conan on TBS
Date Of Mention: June 1, 2015
The Story: While telling Conan O'Brien about his love of trolling and insulting audiences, Joel McHale recalls a time when Montrealers ticked him off, resulting in a retaliation tactic that taps into our very identity as a Canadian metropolis.
"I was in Montreal and those people are really, really rude because they don't speak English. They have this thing where if you're in Montreal and you walk into a store — they speak French and English — and you walk in and you go, 'Hi, I'd like a cup of coffee,' they will go, 'Bbbb, ehh, bbbb,'" McHale says, mimicking someone who doesn't want to speak English. [...] But if you attempt French [...] then they go like, 'What do you want?'"
He continues, "So I walked out and it was a television special and it was a bunch of comics. I was hosting it and it was in Montreal and I said, 'Good evening, Toronto.'"
McHale, who previously hosted pop culture and TV satire show The Soup and starred in Community, explains that "things had to stop, cameras were turned off" before he was told he could not do that in Montreal, and was crazy for trying.
"They hate Toronto. I swear, they like ISIS more than Toronto," he adds. "I was like 'It's in your country. [...] You can drive to it.'"
McHale then spends a bunch of time doing his impression of Francophone Montrealers, which you can watch in the YouTube video. Spoiler: They're apparently always smoking cigarettes.
Hot Take: According to McHale, too many Montreal retail and service workers pretend not to speak English to make a point until they get annoyed by tourists' poor attempts at French, which comes off as rude. He also doesn't seem to understand why there's animosity between Montreal and Toronto, considering they're both large Canadian cities that are close to one another, but he was keen on playing into the tension.
All in all, it seems that McHale was frustrated by the city's language politics and ready, at the drop of a hat, to exacerbate the longstanding Montreal versus Toronto rivalry. Stars — they're just like us!
Watch the full interview on the Team Coco YouTube channel
Jay Baruchel & Jimmy Kimmel
Place Of Mention: Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC
Date Of Mention: Aug 10, 2017
The Story: Notre-Dame-de-Grâce native Jay Baruchel discusses the Montreal food scene with Jimmy Kimmel after divulging how much he misses it since moving to Toronto.
"If I lived in Montreal, I would never stop eating," Kimmel says.
"That's what we constantly do," Baruchel replies. "There's all these beautiful kinda gourmet spots, but my personal favourite is a chain restaurant called St-Hubert."
Baruchel's go-to order? Quarter chicken with fries and gravy.
"I'm a simple man," he adds.
Baruchel says he asked St-Hubert if he could be in commercials for them and got rejected, which he describes as "humbling."
In response to the story, Kimmel tells Baruchel he was in Montreal the previous summer for the Just for Laughs Festival where he had "a lot of great meals," including at Joe Beef as well as a place he chooses to leave anonymous.
"I won't name the restaurant because I think it might've been illegal. They served us a moose heart with maple syrup, which to me, had to be the most Canadian thing you could ever put in your mouth," Kimmel says.
Baruchel agrees, comparing it to "taking a bath with Jim Carrey."
Hot Take: The fact that someone, let alone a famous actor from Montreal, thinks St-Hubert is the city's best restaurant is one of the spiciest takes ever. Plus, who knew a local restaurant was serving up maple syrup moose hearts to high-rolling tourists?! Kimmel says it was actually "pretty good" so we might have to track down the dish and give it whirl.
Watch the full interview on the Jimmy Kimmel Live YouTube channel
Antoni Porowski
Place Of Mention: Tout le monde en parle on Ici Radio-Canada Télé
Date Of Mention: February 26, 2023
The Story: Appearing on Radio-Canada's Tout le mode en parle, Queer Eye chef and Montreal native Antoni Porowski reflects on culinary memories of his life in Montreal.
After shouting out the fried meat pierogies from Old Montreal's Stash Café where he was a server, as well as mentioning Café Olympico as a preferred coffee spot, Porowski goes on to say that St-Viateur makes "the best bagels in the world."
"In New York, the bagels are way too big. They scoop the bagels which is ridiculous. And I think the water is better here too," he explains in French.
Porowski also brings up Atwater Market and the availability of great cheeses across the city. Other guests on the show remind him about two other Montreal classics: poutine and smoked meat.
Hot Take: Montreal's perennial Fairmount versus St-Viateur debate appears to be a no-brainer for Porowski who crowns St-Viateur king of the bagel universe. It's also interesting that aside from bagels, pierogies and cafés seem to be the standout epicurean experiences that shaped his time in Montreal — more so than poutine and smoked meat.
More details on the Ici Radio-Canada Télé website
Jim Norton
Episode 586 of the Guys We F****d Podcast featuring hosts Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson with guests Jim and Nikki Norton.
Guys We Fcked | YouTube
Place Of Mention: Guys We F****d Podcast
Date Of Mention: March 29, 2024
The Story: Around 9 minutes and 45 seconds into episode 586 of the Guys We F****d Podcast, comedian and radio personality Jim Norton starts talking about how he spent much of the COVID-19 pandemic in Montreal due to immigration issues, which were keeping his then girlfriend (now wife) out of the United States.
"The first time I lived with any woman in my life ever was her in the pandemic. I ran up to Montreal and lived in a one-bedroom for 15 months. I left the U.S. No one knew I was gone [...] I had no idea I would be gone that long. The border was closed and if I came back, I couldn't have left," Norton says. "So I stayed with her for 15 months on René Lévesque Boulevard."
Nikki, who hails from Norway, chimes in, "And this was during COVID and Canada was one of the countries that were most locked down, and how good did we do? We had so much fun."
The pair goes on to discuss the Quebec curfew, which required residents to be home by 8 p.m. with Norton referring to Montreal as "panicky." They also say they took trips to Toronto and Quebec City to help pass the time.
Nikki later discloses that the reason that she wasn't allowed into the U.S. at that time is because she has a "pot misdemeanor," which she says Canada didn't have a problem with.
The first time Nikki saw Norton perform stand-up comedy was also in Montreal, but in 2017, Norton says, joking about how she didn't laugh once because there's no stand-up comedy in Norway and Norwegians have very different comedic sensibilities.
Big Reveal: Did you know that Jim Norton was secretly living in a one-bedroom apartment on boulevard René Lévesque for 15 months during the pandemic? We certainly didn't. Next time you're in the area, take a look around because you're standing in the place where his love story with his wife Nikki truly began.
The SQDC may pale in comparison to other Canadian cannabis stores, but, hey, at least Montreal helped someone with a marijuana conviction achieve their dreams.
Watch the full interview on the Guys We Fcked YouTube channel
Bonus: Hasan Minhaj
Place Of Mention: Entertainment Tonight (ET) Canada
Date Of Mention: Summer of 2022
The Story: We don't have video for this one, as it's no longer available, but in August 2022, MTL Blog wrote an article about how Hasan Minhaj had dissed Montreal at a Just for Laughs red carpet appearance, captured by ET Canada.
Hot Take: "Weighing in on a major inter-city rivalry, the comedian told ET Canada that Toronto is one of the most beautiful cities in the world while Montreal is 'meh.' With signature deadpan delivery, he called out the amount of 'French energy' and 'I'm better than you energy' in the city," the article explains.
More details on Hasan Minhaj dragging Montreal
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
Charles Leclerc at Moretti. 
Rendering of C2 Montréal 2022 installations at Montreal's Place Ville-Marie Esplanade.
American actor Danny Glover with standing among employees in Haitian restaurant Kwizinn Verdun.