I Tried Ganadara's Massive, Loaded $27 Poutine & It Was... A Lot

How to begin a review of a dish comprised of mussels, ramen, beef, chicken and tteokbokki which is also, simultaneously, poutine?

First, consider what kind of person might want to eat mussels, ramen, beef, chicken and tteokbokki, while also, simultaneously, eating poutine. Then, consider what kind of person might want to read about such a thing, without ever subjecting themselves to the process of consuming it — a culinary rubbernecker, watching a well-seasoned yet undeniably strange car crash of a meal take place from a morbidly curious clinical distance.

If you've made it this far, you're one or the other: either the type of person who orders this monstrosity for their own sick pleasure, or someone who is deeply fascinated by this type of behaviour in other people.

Lucky for you, I'm a blend of the two — someone who will subject themselves to a strange meal for the purpose of detailing it for the rubberneckers.

Enter Ganadara's Supreme tteokbokki poutine, a meal intended for two that I (like many others, apparently) purchased just for me.

The two-person serving size makes the $27.50 price tag more understandable, but it's still a lot for (an admittedly loaded) poutine.

It costs a bit over $30 on Uber Eats, but who are the people ordering this to their homes?! Please comment below if that’s you and justify your decisions. Thank you.

By the time my very nice server placed the truly massive, strikingly beautiful poutine in front of me, I was really quite hungry. But as soon as I saw the plate, I realized I was in for a ride. There was way, way too much going on.

The poutine, as I mentioned, features a layer of fries topped with cheesy ramen, beef, chicken, tteokbokki rice cakes and mussels. Each element fights to be the star, but with a million other flavours in the same arena, it's more than a little overwhelming.

Each element stands on shaky ground on its own, and together it's a confusing pile of food. The ramen was not as flavourful as I would have hoped, but the red sauce that covered the poutine was pretty tasty.

The admittedly very striking poutine, pre-consumption.Willa Holt | MTL Blog

The tteokbokki are the best part, with both types of meat coming up in a close second, not including the mussels. I wasn't given a shell bowl, which made eating them a little awkward, but they were certainly there.

I gave it the old college try — by which I mean I pretended I was 19 and stoned out of my mind — and it wasn’t too bad.

Eating tteokbokki and melty cheese with fries is a really nice experience, and I'd eat a simplified poutine with just tteokbokki any day of the week. Most of the rest of the ingredients feel, dare I say it, a little extraneous.

While I tackled the huge plate, I found myself wishing that I was eating one of Ganadara's other delicious foods, especially the soft tofu soup or a piping hot bibimbap served in a clay pot.

As I ate, I realized that, as a PR stunt, the poutine totally worked on me — I wanted to show this wild meal to everyone I know. I certainly was NOT able to finish it.

Here's what the plate looked like by the time I was feeling full:

A still towering plate of complex poutine from Ganadara.Willa Holt | MTL Blog

Before I left, I asked the very kind service staff how often people order this poutine. Apparently, it’s nearly every day. And plenty of people order it for one, the server told me. Some even finish it by themselves, she noted with a touch of awe.

I was not one of those few, I admit. But will I take the rest of this home and eat it when I’m absolutely blazed?

Well… I decline to comment.