Tim Hortons' New Holiday Menu Just Dropped With Drinks That Are Basically Blended Candy

The holidays are sort of approaching, bringing promises of cold weather in Montreal, and Tim Hortons has decided it's high time to roll out this year's limited-edition holiday menu, complete with enough sugar to stop Santa himself in his tracks.

This year's theme is Snow Place like Tims, which is definitely true regardless of how you feel about their coffee. If you enjoy it, power to you — there will be plenty of wintry drinks to keep your heart warm.

The new specialty drinks include a Gingerbread Oat Latte, which is described as "creamy and handcrafted" in a recent press release. It's unclear which elements of the drink are any more handcrafted than any other Timmies bevvie, but that's beside the point.

Next, there's the Candy Cane drinks series: Candy Cane Hot Chocolate (nice), Candy Cane White Hot Chocolate (good for kids?) and the supreme sweet treat: Candy Cane Iced Capp. Perfect, if you're looking for a Christmassy vibe in your wake-up milkshake.

The new Tim Hortons holiday designs for 2022.Courtesy of Tim Hortons

The final two beverages are pretty tame: a mocha latte and roasted hazelnut cold brew, which is made with "espresso-infused foam." It's unclear whether that's just for flavour, or if the foam itself is caffeinated. Either way, it's by far the most interesting culinary note on the new menu. Oh, you don't find that interesting? How strange.

"In crafting our annual holiday menu, we always want to feature flavours and aromas that are evocative of this special time of year and give guests that feel warm and comforting feeling," [sic] Chef Tallis Voakes, Director of Culinary Innovation at Tim Hortons said in the press release. If the drinks aren't warming or comforting you, maybe the new pastries will convince you.

First, there's a filled sugar cookie. Filled with what, you might ask? Not included in the press release. Sorry, bud. It's probably icing.

Then, there will be a chocolate hazelnut muffin with a chocolate hazelnut filling. This one sounds legitimately quite good, but it's possible that filling will do most of the legwork.

Finally, there are two new seasonal Dream Donuts, one gingerbread chocolate and one "chocolate fudge pretzel." If they're anything like the other Dream Donuts, they're probably more suitable for dessert than breakfast. But it's the holidays, so go ahead and treat yourself, whether that's at Tims or, y'know, elsewhere.