A close-up of a "talking" Johnny Depp Willy Wonka doll. Right: Someone holds up a "brand new" diamond grill.
Facebook Marketplace is a great place to acquire used IKEA furniture and find outlandish items that make you question the taste of fellow Montrealers.
The following listings not only raise questions about why people own these things in the first place but also who they think will buy them.
Bedazzled Beetle
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $200
This pricey frame contains two insects: a shiny scarab and a bedazzled beige beetle that appears to be lassoed with a dangling gold chain. The seller writes that "the jewel belonged to the founder of the Montreal Insectarium," presumably referencing the left bug, not the plastic gems affixed to the right one. They also claim that the set is "very rare," which, given the presentation, is probably for the best.
Hand Lamp
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $65
Forget sexy leg lamps, there's a new body part lighting up the market. This disembodied zombie hand and forearm, inspired by The Walking Dead, makes the perfect accent for any room that could use a splash of undead. If you can't afford this lamp, just get an orchid — it will die on you soon enough.
Crocs Wearing Crocs
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $40
It doesn't get more meta than this. These watermelon-coloured figurines are anthropomorphized Crocs wearing the faux pas footwear, which, if you think about it, is kind of like a human wearing hollowed-out heads on their feet. According to the seller, these little guys "were used as advertising where Croc shoes were sold and are pretty rare." Too bad Crocs aren't.
E.T. Bookends
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $160
There appears to be some kind of E.T. revival on Marketplace with these vintage bookends up for grabs, along with a vase, mug, E.T. cetera. Of course, if you want these dazed alien heads on your bookshelf, you'll likely have to phone (the seller's) home to get them.
Gremlins Flasher Puppet
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $700
For just under a grand, you can stick your hand in this flasher "stunt puppet" from the Gremlins movie series whenever you want. There's very little actually lewd about the genitalia-less monster, but it is a curious item to want to own, especially in puppet form.
18-Inch Talking Willy Wonka
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $90
In other movie paraphernalia, this 18-inch "talking" Willy Wonka doll is the stuff of nightmares. It repeats lines from the film in Johnny Depp's creepy Wonka voice, like "Once again you really shouldn't mumble cause it's kinda startin' to bum me out." Of course, if you're into talking dolls, there's also a large talking Smeagol (with a detachable head!) from The Lord Of The Rings to consider.
Duck Dynasty Chia Pet
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $15
This terracotta pot "Chia Pet" is shaped like Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty, an odd chapter in American reality television. You can bring his profile to life by planting chia seeds and watching them sprout through the clay of his beard. It'll either set off your trypophobia, or, who knows… it might grow on you?
Grill
Facebook Marketplace.
Price: $60
These shiny teeth covers are "brand new," according to the seller, who says they haven't been worn (just vigorously touched, if the photos are anything to go by). The dental bling "would shine better in your mouth," reads the description, which offers a $20 discount. There may be better (aka. non-oral) items to seek savings on via the platform.
