Canadians will just have to wait and hope.
As of October 3, the inner children of countless American adults are being nourished by the new "adult Happy Meal," a collaboration McDonald's launched with clothing company Cactus Plant Flea Market.
These slightly beefier big-kid lunchboxes come with four-eyed toys and cost slightly more than the standard Happy Meal: $11.99 USD instead of $8.99 for the regular children's meal.
American grown-ups have been enjoying their balanced meals and plastic toys throughout the week, but excited Canadians might need to lower their expectations for a Northern version of the project.
Will adult Happy Meals ever come to Canada?
The packaging on the adult Happy Meal.
Unfortunately for hungry Canadian adults, it seems McDonald's has no plans to introduce the Cactus Plant Flea Market collab outside of the U.S., as confirmed in a statement to Narcity this week.
So, for the foreseeable future, we'll have to settle for boring children's Happy Meals and boring children's toys instead of cool adult toys — wait, that came out wrong. They're just plastic figurines, okay?
And the point is they're not available in Canada, so stop worrying about it.
It's of course possible that McDonald's Canada will someday introduce a collaboration with a Canadian designer, especially if enough people ask for it, but for now, the American adult Happy Meal seems like it won't travel.
Do adults get a toy in their McDonald's Happy Meals?
Of course, they do! But, again, not in Canada. The 100% safe-for-work grown-up toy line is a set of plastic figures of classic McDonald's mascots, with a four-eyed redesign in the Cactus Plant Flea Market style.
The line includes purple monster Grimace, the Hamburglar, Birdie the Early Bird (say it with me: who?), and a new Cactus Plant Flea Market character called "Cactus Buddy." On top of their unusual number of eyes, the toys have a slightly messy edge to their design, giving the impression that they've been imperfectly moulded out of clay.
They're cool, if you like McDonald's-themed hunks of plastic. If you're truly desperate for a piece of the action, you can find many of the Cactus Plant Flea Market toys on online resellers like eBay, but that's the only place Canadians can get their paws on them, for now.
The adult Happy Meal contains your (read: Americans') choice of either a Big Mac or a ten-piece box of McNuggets, certainly more filling than the 4-nugget meal for little babies (or light snackers, no judgment).
The meal also features a soda and the quintessential side of fries, all contained in a package with an eclectic design unique to the Cactus Plant Flea Market collab.
The meals also contain one of those alien-looking toys, presumably for collector's value, but we won't tell anyone if you actually play with them.
What else is included in the Cactus Plant Flea Market collab?
The clothing company has also, unsurprisingly, released a line of McDonald's-themed threads you can order online. The pieces are pretty pricey, with a printed white T-shirt selling for $60 USD.
Unlike the meals themselves, these merch items ship directly to Canada! For one shirt shipping to downtown Montreal, the estimated shipping cost was around $25 USD.
So, while you can't eat like a Happy(TM) adult, if you want to dress like a cool-ish Hamburglar, you can make that dream a somewhat expensive reality.
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