But she told MTL Blog that’s precisely what happened, ultimately leading her to co-organize her very own Montreal Family Pride event taking place August 27, 2023.
The negative comments roll in
“For the first few hours, the replies that were coming in were pretty startling… it was a lot of homophobia wrapped up in ‘protecting your children,’” said Freeston, a marketing manager and mom of a 4½ -year-old and 3-year-old.
“I tried to clarify a few times that there are a lot of different types of Pride events… Drag storytimes are a big thing now or family parades… [but they] were posting pictures of the more risqué outfits people were wearing at a Pride parade, saying, ‘Why would you want your kids to see this?’”
‘Nothing about celebrating queer identities is inherently inappropriate’
After witnessing this thread blow up on Facebook, Talia Ralph, a Montreal-based lawyer and mom of a 1½-year-old, took to her blog “Your Queer Mom” to express her frustration.
“Pride is a celebration of identity, so it goes without saying that there are both parents and kids who hold LGBTQIA+ identities for whom there are always age-appropriate events during Pride,” she wrote. “Nothing about celebrating queer identities is inherently inappropriate, as these people suggested.”
In her blog post, Ralph also argued that it’s both “absurd and impossible” to be “scrubbing kids’ lives of anything that remotely touches on sexuality” — whether it’s a couple holding hands by the playground or relationships depicted in books, movies and on TV shows.
“To decide to do so when it comes to LGBTQIA+ people and not everyone else… is the kind of homophobia that people like to deny because it’s exercised in the name of other ‘morals,’” Ralph wrote. “This position becomes especially perverse when it is used to justify a ‘value’ of ‘keeping kids safe,’ which is code for ‘keep them away from queer and trans people.’”
The Montreal Moms thread was eventually deleted by admins who told us it had diverted so far from the original question it no longer served its purpose. But Freeston and Ralph both said that by the end of the day supportive comments far outweighed the negative comments.
The tables turn
“All these amazing people started jumping in and just in general talking about how we could support community or there were some people who were going right back at the trolls,” Freeston said.
One of the supporters who joined the conversation was Dana Abrams, a local lawyer and mom of a 2½-year-old and a 5-month-old. Abrams suggested that if no one knew of any family pride events, they could create one themselves.
“I’m not a Facebook poster but… I didn’t think there was anything wrong with Sydney’s post. In fact, I’m very supportive of it. So I was like, ‘I need to get involved’… she was getting bullied,” Abrams recalled.
“I just said, ‘Hey, I think this is a great idea to teach kids about diversity and inclusion, and that not all families look the same. I don't know of any events. But why don't we plan one?’”
A child with rainbow face paint.Courtesy of Sydney Freestone
A new event is born
Freeston had no thought or intention of hosting an event when she posted earlier that day, but as soon as Abrams made the suggestion, she was on board. The pair were soon joined by another group member, Rhonda Grintuch, who wanted to help organize, and the event began to take shape.
“I’m a cis-gendered, straight white middle-class woman. I live a pretty blessed life compared to many. And so we gotta use that privilege for helping people who don't. And, clearly, even in Montreal, homophobia lives,” Freeston said.
“Montreal is a big, diverse world-class city. We’re not some small town in the southern U.S. like Alabama where people are very homophobic and very outspoken about it… I was shocked that people held these views… I want my kids to know that not everyone is like us — not just with sexual orientation and identity, but different colours, languages, and races.”
When Freeston posted about the event in Inclusive Parenting Montreal, a Facebook group she started shortly after her post went viral, Rabbi Lisa Grushcow — who’s openly gay — offered up space at Temple Emanu-El-Beth Sholom synagogue for free.
The Montreal Family Pride event is set to take place on Sunday, August 27 and feature Pride-themed storytelling and arts & crafts stations focused on diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging. Attendees can also expect bouncy castles and cotton candy machines.
“Even though it’s at a synagogue, the whole point of the event is that anyone is welcome. You definitely do not have to be Jewish,” Abrams said.
“I’m not Jewish,” Freeston chimed in. “It’s a secular event … It’s for everyone.” She noted, however, that the target audience is 2- to 12-year-olds and their families.
The organizers said they’re aiming to cover their costs and then donate all proceeds to Rainbow Railroad, a charitable organization that helps at-risk LGBTQI people escape persecution in their home countries.
‘I might have a gay kid’
Ralph told MTL Blog she hopes to attend the event with her wife and child, noting that she’s “grateful” it’s happening.
“I think it's cool that straight people who don't have that visceral reaction that I do, being a gay parent, still had enough of a visceral reaction to be like, ‘This is horrible. Let's do something about it,’” she told MTL Blog.
“It's just a reality that a certain amount of the population … is Queer or gender nonconforming … Parents should have that in the back of their minds like, ‘I might have a gay kid. I might have a trans kid. What can I do to make them feel like — at the very least — this family is accepting and open and going to love them no matter what. And taking your kid to a Pride event is a very easy way to communicate that.”
For more family-friendly Pride-related fun in Montreal this August, representatives from La Coalition des familles LGBT+ recommended Fierté Montréal Community Day and said families are welcome to march in the Fierté Montréal Pride Parade with them.
Montreal Family Pride
When: Sunday, August 27 at 10 a.m.
Where: Temple Emanu-El-Beth Sholom, 4100 rue Sherbrooke Ouest
Celeste Trianon, the march's organizer, before the march.Willa Holt | MTL Blog
An anonymous attendee holds a sign reading "trans lives are more important than cis feelings."Willa Holt | MTL Blog
Sacha, left, and their brother pose for a picture before the march.Willa Holt | MTL Blog
Erin holds a sign reading, "F*ck your gender norms."Willa Holt | MTL Blog
An attendee named Rhys holds his handmade "begone TERF" sign.Willa Holt | MTL Blog
